Living with an Internet Community

Lots of people now days belong to internet communities. Chat rooms, forums, and so on comprise these communities. As the owner of one such place I have watched how it grows, settles and grows again. I own the forum, Prairie Homemaker. When we began I took over the Hillbilly Housewife forums, about 4 years ago. We had 600 members then give or take. In that time we had large growth, up to nearly 5,000 and we are now down to about 1200.

This is a comfortable level for me, still many of the members only "lurk" reading and I suppose using the information they glean in other areas.

One thing I have noticed is there often seems to be a lot of left over high school emotion that is vented on the message boards. There is a lot of drama infused into things. I have been online and part of communities for over 10 years now, it happens on all of them.

The first one I was on decided it was against the rules to use Bible quotes, because they were offensive, yet allowed atheists, Wicca's, Buddhist and all other types of quotes, many that were offensive to me. I never did get a clear answer as to why that was; they just banned me for asking instead of giving me an answer.

I work hard to make Prairie Homemaker different. Not everyone who wishes to join is automatically accepted. There are rules, since it is a Bible literal board certain things can not be allowed.

There are hundreds of boards related to religion, frugality, homesteading, and general stuff. It is safe to say that what ever your penchant in life, there is a board for that! There are even boards set up to discuss other boards, or so I have been told.

In my own experience folks seem to feel freer to be negative online than in real life. They also seem to feel free to be more demanding that message board, or forum owners kowtow to their demands. I myself do not take kindly to demands being made for changes. Asking politely might get an idea considered, but demanding, gets one ignored.

It also irks me when folks act like Snaggle Puss, remember that tiger from the old cartoons, "exit stage right" and all that. They post a post that says, I am leaving, and then go on to dramatically detail how they have been badly treated. Usually it's a simple case of several people disagreed with them and were vocal about it. That is the whole point of an online community, to explore different views.

Now I do take issue with folks who espouse an opposing view joining a web site just to argue. I remove folks like that from mine quickly. The point of my forum is to uplift ladies of similar beliefs. We all have different backgrounds, but our core beliefs are the same.

I also avoid joining boards where it is all arguing all the time and no one will agree to disagree. What is the point of that? To see how many ulcers you can give or get? I often find religious boards to be that way, and so I avoid them, even though I like to study Bible based religions. I find it silly, in the extreme, to argue when you know you will not convert the other person to your point of view, and actually, any true Bible believer will not do so. The Bible calls it "useless arguing" and sin. It casts doubt in my mind on the true Faith of the people doing it, and I know it gives power to those who claim anyone who is Faith based is a religious nut.

Being a member of a forum is vastly different than being the owner of one. As a member you are free to enjoy the site, and take away what you need from it. As an owner you are the one who must handle any problems that crop up. Both people related and software related. If the site runs slow, folks expect you to be able to hurry it up. If cyber space eats their post you should know why.

Online communities serve a useful purpose as well as just a recreational one though. Have you had a bad experience with a company? Post about it on a forum. Save other folks from dealing with them. You can learn a vast amount, from people who actually do the things you wish to learn about. Forums have a huge assortment of cooks, computer programmers, and crafters. Medical advice is available from normal doctors and nurses to homeopaths and holistic healers as well. Likewise legal advice can be gleaned, from setting up a will to buying a house.

One thing that really surprised me recently though, and this is probably the most important part of online communities. The friendships that are forged. I was recently diagnosed with cancer. The out pouring of care and support from my site members was staggering. I mean I knew many enjoyed the site, but that they would take their time to send me notes and small gifts to show it, was for me very moving. I heard from women who had been where I was and they wanted me to know I would be ok. I was prayed for by church groups I didn't even know, because Prairie Homemaker had touched some one in them some how.

Over all, living with an online community is a good thing. It will stretch you to limits you may not realize you have, and uplift you in ways you never thought of. You will grow with it, and learn to handle situations you never thought you would need to deal with. Oh and my cancer, is gone, no small thanks to those who prayed for me and my surgeon.