Living Life Under Unexpected Circumstances

John Lennon said, "Life happens when you are busy making other plans."

The unexpected happens at any given moment. I have spent the past two months interviewing individuals and families whose lives were changed in an instant by a single diagnosis of cancer. These folks never saw the train wreck before that moment. There was little time to prepare for the unexpected circumstances that life can throw in your path.

We recently were dealt a blow with the unexpected passing of our beloved cousin and friend. She suffered a heart attack that ended her life in an instant. If you missed that article, you can read it here.

Looking over these cancer interviews that I did for the local paper and being a survivor of a devastating life-blow myself, I began to ponder what it takes to ride out the bumps. For me, it is my faith in Jesus Christ that gets me through each day, each diagnosis and each passing of a loved one. For others, it is inner strength that sees them through. Whatever it is that defines the coping technique, there is a common thread and that is the ability to take it in stride.

This week, I met the mother of a disabled child who was born with Microphthalmia which means "little eye" or in this little boy's case, no right eye at all. His mother, an Army wife, seemed to accept this fate and is dealing with it. She told me, "We never expected it. Tiernan is our first child and we had a normal pregnancy. When he was born, the doctor immediately whisked him away and when he returned he told us the diagnosis. After the shock settled and the tears dried, we sort of just dealt with it and said, '˜Okay, he's less-than-perfect at the moment. Let's see what we can do to make his life as normal as possible."

Many years ago, Erma Bombeck penned, "The Special Mother." It was a short story to illustrate how God places children with families. As God is choosing which children should go to which families, He pauses and says to the angels, "Give this mother a child who is less-than-perfect and the following exchange occurs:

"The angel is curious, "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

Handling life's unexpected circumstances isn't always easy but in the end if you can separate what is truly important from what never mattered in the first place then you are free to go on living your life. Needless worry will not change a diagnosis, a disability or a death.

The bible tells us, "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. " Matthew 6:34

And, from Mahatma Gandhi,

" There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever ."

Gandhi was indeed a very wise man.

Sources:

http://www.biopsychiatry.com/happiness/envirhered.html