Living Life Without Seroquel

In a doctor's attempt to control an episode of anxiety and panic attacks, I was placed on Seroquel. I took Seroquel for about four years. I took myself off this medication due to negative side effects.

According to WebMD.com, "this medication is used with or without other medications to treat certain mental/mood conditions (e.g., bipolar disorder, schizophrenia)....It works by helping to restore the balance of certain natural chemicals (neurotransmitters) in the brain."

I was forty-five years old when my life changed. Within a space of eighteen months, I lost a lover, my dad and eventually my job. Feeling defeated, my once-active life shrank into daily struggles at home with panic attacks. Like the sudden strike of a tornado, I found myself numb and perhaps, over medicated. I lived in fear. Fate in the form of a kind, caring psychiatrist stepped into my life one year later. He stabilized my medication. Nearing fifty, I started over learning a new set of rules to manage my emotions and physical well being.

Having bounced from Paxil, Wellbutrin and Effexor to determine an effective anti-depressant, I gained weight which added to my depression. My psychiatrist suggested I take Seroquel as an aid to manage my "marginal" case of bipolar disorder. Initially, I responded well to the Effexor and Seroquel mixture. The Seroquel stabilized my racing thoughts and mood swings.

I began working with a therapist. Whether it was being unemployed that aggravated me or the Seroquel, I gradually went through a period of time when I was "so mean I could spit nails!" Weekly, I confessed my frustration to my therapist as if I was speaking with a priest in search of absolution.

In spite of this frustration, I began sorting through my diet incorporating exercise to offset anger, stress and anxiety. I worked on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) triggers with my therapist. However it was my observation of another woman in pain that provided me the final link to change and improve my emotional posture.

Unknown to me, a close family member had begun taking Seroquel. Oddly I was uncomfortable but identified with her erratic, changing behavior. Working through the death of a child, this woman's suffering felt beyond acidic into toxic. This discovery conveyed serendipity when the woman disclosed to me that she recently started taking Seroquel. Only then was I am able to conclude the negative effects I was experiencing from Seroquel.

Through my research on the internet, I found articles and blogs from other people who had encountered similar feelings of anger and suicide while taking Seroquel. So I decided to stop taking the medication. That was over a year ago. It has been a wise choice for me.

In many ways, I would like to believe that Seroquel helped "to [permanently] restore the balance of natural" neurotransmitters in my brain. Many experts would credit the weekly "talk therapy" that I attend to this day. Honestly, I don't know if the medical community knows all since the brain is so complex. Personally, I am hanging with the Creator and His wisdom as I cut a new path without Seroquel.