Living with Panic Disorder

It was my senior year and I had three months left until graduation. I was in the national honor society and many other clubs. I would say that I was doing pretty good. I had intended on attending a community college right after high school but my plans soon changed.

One morning during first period , an announcement was made over the intercom that all members of math league were to meet in room 101. I was in math league so I made my way to the classroom. When I got there there was more people in there then I expected there to be. I grabbed my paper and had to stand in a corner because the room was so packed. I looked around the room when it began to get silent and my heart started to race. All of a sudden I began feeling dizzy, like I wanted to throw up. I felt an overwhelming nervousness come over me and I felt like I needed to leave the room quick. I quickly wrote some crap answers on the paper and passed in and left. As soon as I was out of the room I felt a lot better.

After that I just thought that maybe I just felt sick all of a sudden. A couple weeks later I went to the mall with my boyfriend and my sister. We went into a department store and my boyfriend wanted to go look at the mens clothing so I told him I was going to check out the girls section. My sister went off looking around somewhere. As I was walking around the girls section I started feeling scared and really shaky. I felt like I was going to faint and I got scared because I thought that everyone would see me and think I was crazy. I quickly ran up to my boyfriend and told him I felt sick and need to leave the store immediately. We ended up leaving and going to get food because I thought eating would help. We got our food and sat down at a table but half way through the meal I started feeling that weird feeling again. We left.

Slowly but surely this pattern began to develop everywhere I went. When I was driving I got panic attacks every time I was stopped behind cars at a red light or if I was driving in someone else's car that I didn't know very well. These panic attacks made me want to escape everywhere I went. It was even hard driving my sister and I too school. When I actually got to school I was fine until I was put in front of large groups of people. I couldn't go to assembly's or anything without panicking and having to leave. I couldn't go to group meetings or get up in front of the class. It got so bad that I chose not to go to college because I was scared to. When it came down to it. I felt like I just couldn't live. I couldn't go out to a friends house or to parties. I hated being around people I didn't know because I would have a panic attack. Graduation was coming up soon and I was scared to death.

There was no way I could get up in front of all those people even if it was my graduation. I got mad that I felt I couldn't go. One day I was watching t.v and I came across a girl telling a story about how she couldn't drive because she would panic and she felt like she was trapped in her house. I knew exactly what she was feeling. In the end of the show I found out she had panic disorder. I decided to go to the therapist and find out what was going on. Turned out, I too had panic disorder.

I was then prescribed to medication for anxiety and panic. Although these helped there was no way to know if I was going to have a panic attack or not. They usually came out of nowhere. Although I was still on the medication I still had them off and on and I was still terrified to go anywhere where I didn't know anyone or there was going to be a large group of people. I started researching panic disorder more and other peoples stories. I found some techniques to try when I feel a panic attack coming on. I never did go to my graduation though. It was too late. I was still having them everyday.

I think the worse attacks I had were while I was driving. I felt like I would have to pull over and puke. I never ever really had to puke thats just what it felt like. I started getting tunnel vision while my heart beated rapidly out of my chest. Over time though, I developed a way to seize the attack from coming on while driving. I turn up the music and try to rhyme to it. Either that or I sing. Personally I rhyme to it. It gets my mind off the attack because thats the main reason why panic attacks occur. Your mind tells yourself your having an attack and when you keep telling yourself that it gets worse.

If you or someone you know has ever felt like this and wondered why it occurred you were probably having a panic attack. Don't be stupid like me and wait until the last second to fix the problem. Help yourself. Research it more and remember to breathe and think positive. Living with panic disorder can be fixed if you put your mind to it. Literally.

If we were to get technical we would start by saying that anxiety disorders often appear in the fore-brain. By definition the fore brain is is the anterior part of the brain that is responsible for emotions, motor movement, memory, and self awareness. The hypothalamus may also be responsible for anxiety disorders. The hypothalamus is responsible for emotions, hunger, thirst, sleep, sexual behavior, and body temperature. Some anxiety disorders are panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and phobias. These disorders can be treated with medicine but it is highly recommended that you find other methods to prevent any oncoming anxiety. Finding a regular therapist and psychiatrist are a must. Breathing methods should be induced if anxiety is present. An exercise one can do is cover one nostril and breathe in through your nose for 7 seconds. Exhale through your mouth for 10-12 seconds. Repeat this until you feel comfortable. It may not do the trick completely. Listening to lyrics in music can help your mind concentrate on something else which may reduce the anxiety. We may never quite know what triggers these disorders but you can draw your own conclusions. For me it was stress brought on by bad relationships and troubled times. For another person it could be nothing.