Living with the Results of a Head Injury

I was three and a half years old when I was hit by a car. The year was 1974. If I remember correctly; I think it was sometime in April, I only know this because I remember seeing some medical documents that were in my record.

The way it was told to me was this: my mom was selling avon and she had me by the hand as she was going to see a potential client. What happened the next few moments, changed my life; forever.

Somehow and for some reason I had let go of my mom's hand. The next thing she knew, I was sprawled out in the street because I had been struck by a car. She was frantic and hysterical afterwards. Her little boy had been hit by a car and she didn't know what to do.

The ambulance came and whisked me away to the hospital. I had suffered a severe head injury as the car had hit me smack dab on the right side of my forehead. The next few hours were crucial. The doctors had discovered that I was bleeding internally in my stomach. The doctors performed emergency surgery on me and they were successful at stopping the bleeding in my stomach but, I was not out of the water yet because I had slipped into a coma. For the next two weeks I was watched night and day as I lied there motionless in my comatose state.

My parents had two other children to contend with that needed their attention too. I can't even imagine what it must've been like for them. I don't remember much myself. My earliest memory is that of having some casts cut off my legs. I was terrified that the blade was going to go into my skin and that it was going to be the worst pain that I had ever experienced in my entire life.

Somehow, I made it through it; alive. The car accident had taken away everything in life that I had learned up to that point. I had to start fresh and new with learning how to do everything all over again. I had to go to physical therapy and I also had to go to speech therapy. My recollection of this is fuzzy but I do remember some of it. I remember being rolled around on a big ball. I also remember crawling across the floor to get to my momma.

I don't remember how long this went on; but, I do know that it went on for a few years. I remember that my parents would sometimes take me to Philadelphia for special therapy at a medical center. I was given exercises to do like hopping on one foot, skipping, jumping; things that would help me develop my coordination. I remember that for a little while after the accident I had to wear a helmut on my head all the time.

There are some things that I went through that are characteristics of people that have had head injuries. I was deeply afraid of loud noises and anything unknown. I would run and hide from motorcycles or cars with loud mufflers. Remember, this was the 70s and the hippy generation. We lived in west Seattle at the time. There were some hippies that lived right down the street from us. They would race their loud cars and motorcycles up and down the street. I spent the majority of my time running and hiding from the cars and motorcycles.

A few years later, I started school. I was terribly slow and because of that I was placed in special ed classes. Now, the other kids in special ed classes had different problems than what I had. I remember that I didn't get along with some of them.

As the years went, I remember they would pull me out of class from time to time to test me on my knowledge. I never knew what it was or why they were doing it. The funny thing is that I never thought to ask why.

I always had a problem making friends for some reason. I was told that it was one of the affects of the head injury. I spent a large part of my childhood denying that I had a problem. I just wanted to be like everyone else.

At the age of eight, I started having thoughts of wanting to commit suicide. Life was just too hard for me. I was different than everybody else, I didn't have any friends, and the small acquintances that I did have with people, seemed that they just wanted to make fun of me.

So, because I didn't want to be totally alone, I felt that I had to accept being treated as somehow inferior to everybody else. This led to many problems later on in life. I've always felt socially inept for some reason. I'm not sure why.

I know that this story is not being told in the exact chronological order that it happened because my brain injured mind does not function normally. So, please bare with me as I recollect the moments of my life.