Living with a Stutterer

I'm lucky. I'm one of the lighter stutterers out there. Many who hear me tell them I even have a stammer don't always believe me. I guess you'd have to be around me often enough to really notice it, and all that's as it should be and all, I guess. But I most certainly, without knowing exactly why, go through numerous, repeated instances in in my day where I'm speaking - and I "interrupt" myself. But, my little "quirk" is nowhere near as annoying as those folks who act like I'm trying to play a game of "guess the word."

To most, it just seems an oddity, how I pause in mid-sentence sometimes. People, in general, seem to take me with a grain of salt, for some reason. Like I said, I'm lucky. At least I'm not one of those poor souls people sometimes crack jokes about, or think of whenever most people imagine a "stutterer." But I've gone my whole life finding folks difficult to speak with, because of it.

In honor of all those whom I've seen deal with what we're discussing here today, who've encountered more than enough experiences with those who are crude to the speech-impeded, I'm speaking up. I'm discussing the tendency of the average person, when meeting a stutterer, to want to "help" them say whatever it is they're saying. Don't do that. Quit it, right now. Not everyone does it, but those of you who do, really need to stop. Can I possibly be any clearer?

When a person stutters in any way, and for whatever reason, your insistence in being "helpful" is actually only making it worse. If you'll just ride along during the extra half-second to just let them get it out, you may find them relaxing enough to speak easier anyway, and you may not. But at least you'll be one of those rare individuals who even a stutterer feels more comfortable around.

Disfluent speech patterns can be expressed as an elongated version of consonants and vowels, and sometimes a stutter can be nothing more than a halt in mid-sentence. Another speech impediment, known as "psychogenic stuttering" is less-common. It usually occurs in those who have suffered head injury, stoke, and other trauma affecting reasoning abilities.

In none of the scenarios does "finishing sentences," or providing the word help. Sure, we all know what the word is they're trying to say. You're so smart. But even with being "helpful," or "cute," it's only insulting and/or degrading to the person still stuck on the word two seconds later.

Most of us say nothing about how annoying and uncomfortable it is, to be handled as if a stammer is just a "joke," or perhaps we need you to "help." We don't. We actually understand that even the dumbest among you mean well. So, we let it all slide off, like water off a duck's butt. Just keep in mind whenever meeting anyone suffering from this all-too-common speech impediment (roughly 5% of males and 2 1/2% of females...that's 22 and 1/2 out of some 300 million Americans) a little patience can help keep you from being relegated among the unwelcome. Just let them get it out.