Living with a Terminal Illness

Oblivious of death is how most people live their lives. Life can be difficult enough without knowing that you are going to die. Would you want to know? Surprisingly, many would not like to know when death is going to pay them a visit. That is why when people are told they have a terminal illness some become destructive and bitter. On the other hand some individuals become somber and reflective.

The way a person lives with a terminal illness would depend on the individuals themselves and what type of illness they are dying from. If the illness is painful and requires many medications or treatments then that person is left with little options about what they can and cannot do. Their last few days will be dictated by this. The amount of suffering of a loved one can also make it more difficult for family and friends to cope.

When dealing with a painful death many decide to just give up and long for their life to end. They may ask a close loved one to help them along. This can be devastating for those who have been asked because it places them in an awkward and soul-searching situation. Do I stop their pain? What will happen to me if I get caught? Although it may be unfair to ask someone to help you terminate your pain sometimes the suffering makes you not care about it. Many though have found ways to do it themselves thereby removing the burden of having to ask someone for help.

When there is no pain and the suffering is minimal many choose to continue with treatments up until the end hoping beyond hope that a cure may be found. Although they don't want to be a burden to loved ones the desire to continue is strong and fighting for another day of existence becomes routine. Unfortunately, sometimes these types of individuals set their sights solely on the fight and don't see that plans have to be made in the eventuality of their demise. Because of this, when the fight is lost, the burden of death preparations falls on the family.

Then we have those who know death is eminent and have accepted it. They make preparations ahead of time but continue to live life to its fullest. They see their own future which will end but they also see the future of those who they care about. Plans are put in place so that no one gets burdened with an already difficult situation. Once everything is in place they go on to do things that they never dreamed they could do or things they wanted to do but never had the time. Spending precious moments with family and friends, squeezing every last bit of fun one can possibly have before the end comes is what is most important to them.

The individuals who accept their fate and begin preparations for the inevitable usually start with a Living Will which is sometimes called an Advanced Medical Directive. This will allows for the individual's wishes to be kept and thereby no contestation can be submitted. Such as in the case of Terri Schiavo whose husband Michael tried for seven long years to terminate life support. Had Terri created a Living Will with directions on what she wanted done to her in the event of her incapacitation Michael would not have been successful in terminating her life. Many wait for the last minute to create these documents as in Terri's case when she collapsed unexpectedly suffering irreparable brain damage.

On the flip side, Living Wills can also help a terminally ill patient come to their end on their own terms. If the patient wishes that no life support or life-sustaining procedures be carried out this document will stop a distraught relative or spouse from continuing to prolong the inevitable. Doctors say that they can tell if a person is in a vegetative state and that they can't feel pain or emotions; but who can truly say what happens during these situations? Losing someone close to you can be devastating and making the right decisions can be clouded by emotions. There is always that feeling of hope and fear that once the "plug has been pulled" a life saving remedy is presented. That fear of making the wrong choice has allowed many to suffer beyond belief.

Those who live with or know of someone with a terminal illness can have a difficult time as well. It's not easy to see the one you love dying. Whether they are in pain or not the realization of finality is a huge burden to bear. A struggle begins trying to find all the right answers. How does one react to that news? How do you make that person's last few days better or pain free? Most times the terminally ill try hard to make those around them feel at ease with the news. This is also a way to cope with the fear that follows. The fear, anger and sadness that everyone goes through is a natural part of the process of acceptance. Many who hear of the imminent death try to overcompensate and make up for years of neglect.

It can never be known how a person will deal with the knowledge that death is around the corner and coming up fast. People have changed personalities when they knew it was their turn. Angry and bitter individuals who hated the world become loving and compassionate people trying to make up for lost time while kind innocent souls have cursed the world for their fate. Death is subjective and is interpreted differently by all. Why should I have this disease? I'm a good person and don't deserve it! This should be happening to someone else! However you feel about death the everlasting truth is that we will all die eventually. How and when we die most people don't know but when you have the luxury to know it you should embrace and cherish the gift you have been given.

Why would anyone see, knowing death is coming, as a gift? It's a gift because you have been given an opportunity to make all the wrong things in your life right. You have the ability to spend special moments with your family and say good bye to those who have touched you in a special way. Being able to say the things you wanted and needed to say will give you a peace most people will never know or could ever understand. In the end perhaps there are only a few things that can be done. It has been thought that living your life alone can be the greatest sadness anyone can face but perhaps even sadder still is the realization that in death there will be no one to hold your hand or care that you are gone.