Lolcats Are Forever

I've decided to start this article by stating useless(and and in some cases, totally made up) information relating to the lolcat craze. The original term to describe captioned feline photos was Caturday. Lolcats are responsible for the destruction of "O Rly?" Owls. Also, it's a little known fact that lolcats are part of a government plot to distract the masses in lieu of relevant world events.

Had to get that out of the way. What is it about this particular meme that manages to hold peoples attention after 3 years? An easy answer would involve conspiracy theories linking 4chan to the Illuminati. But that seems a little too obvious.

lolcats' popularity stems from the constant attention whoring of the common house cat. Domestic felines are the animal kingdoms version of Paris Hilton. They don't do anything, yet people can't get enough of them. Cuteness can only go so far.

Unlike Hilton, cats can do without the pampering they receive from people. Cat's can only tolerate you when they need something. They rub up against your leg when hungry or in need of a comb down. Any other time they just strut around, looking somewhat disgusted by the sight of people.

It's almost as if they have a Napoleon complex. Egyptians worshiped cats. By the way my Sisters pet cat sits and stares at me judgmentally, I assume memories of "the good old days" are still running through the little furballs mind. If it could talk, I bet the first thing it would say is "Fix me a sammich, BOY!"

Despite domesticated felines baggage, the cuteness manages to shine through. The main reason lolcats pica are still being made is because the source material is undeniably infectious. Lolcats mixes adorable creatures in interesting poses with baby speak/broken English.

Most peoples love for animals are only surpassed by their love for small children. Those who think babies are overrated may be the same people who frequent online communities, typing like a toddler. Lolcats appeal to both demographics.

Because of it's impressive reach, the death of lolcats is not likely to happen any time soon. The vast number of people still collecting pictures and creating captions won't allow it to die out. Their so passionate about the silly meme, I wouldn't be surprised if someone started The Church of Lolcats.

This meme is way past it's prime, but still has a lot of steam. Our children's children's children will all giggle at the thought of Ceiling Cat watching you masturbate. I can see lolcats quilts being passed down from generation to generation becoming family tradition.

People will tell their grand kids stories of the invisible bike, and feline IT specialists that upgrade RAM for free. The adventures of Monorail Cat will eventually become a Hollywood blockbuster. All popular music will be Techno tracks with soundbites of kittens. lolcats are an unstoppable Juggernaut of cuteness.