Lollapalooza: How I Went from Passionate to Past Caring

I missed Lollapalooza in 1992. I remember well the buzz about it amongst my friends, however. As was customary of the time, our desire to go was matched by lack of funds and means to get there. I made it to 1993's, though. The energy was great, puncuated by Primus as the last band to go on stage. Their murky lighting, combined with the surreal music and the crowd moving languidly in the dark, forever ruined hearing Primus in broad daylight.

I love outdoor concerts. It's a different vibe than an indoor show. It feels less scheduled, more fluid. Hear a band, grab something to eat, people-watch, look at the vendors, lose your friends, find your friends, swap stories, run into band members and get autographs...Here I had my tarot cards read for the first time. Lollapalooza led to the purchase of my own deck and the beginning of a fun hobby.

The crowds - fun to watch, not so fun to be squashed by when you stand at armpit level to a lot of people. During this time I was going to a lot of shows, metal shows - Pantera, Megadeth. So I had seen the "pit" which you could generally avoid. But at Lollapalooza they have the "sway". I don't know where it starts. Someone starts pushing somewhere at the edge of a tightly-packed group of people, and your feet are no longer under you. You're leaning as part of a group. Then the sway shifts and you lean the other way. I don't know if this is a natural result of people pushing or if the concertgoers intentionally create this nausea-inducing choreography. All I can say is: people who create the sway, I despise you!

In 1994 I braved the sway to catch Lollapalooza in Minneapolis. I understand they can't have us bringing in our own drinks. They might contain alcohol or explosives, or even actual water that would prevent us from buying the overpriced vendors' water. I'm only a little bitter about that. What really left a bad taste was when the vendors ran out of water at 2 in the afternoon of an event that would last until midnight. Did I mention it was July? We were able to score some ice cubes to slurp on as we sat under a shade tree. Then we made our way to the mist tents. At that point I felt like my role had changed. I entered an audience member. Now I felt like a survivor of some kind of natural disaster. But the whole time, more than anything I was a walking dollar sign.

This year's Lollapalooza is being headlined by Pearl Jam. They played the first one in 1992 along with Ministry, and Soundgarden. That's magic. The thought of those bands together takes my breath away. I'm seeing flannel, I can smell the perfume oil I used to wear, I don't know how 401K plans work yet. It's a beautiful thing.

I always liked when the singers would go off on a rant between songs. They'd be going off against corporations and "they/them/the Man" and I'm rocking out in agreement, wearing a $25 Lollapalooza concert tee shirt (surely they're more now), drinking my $5 water. So who are "they" and "the Man"? Well, they planned Lollapalooza (except for the Perry Farrell types). The Man decided the "price point" for the beverages. Corporations, anyone? Look at the credit card sponsors. Wanna be free? Don't get a credit card.

That should have been the rant: "They wanna tell you who you should be! They wanna tell you charging 23% interest is what you should believe in! Well forget that! Every time you use it you're giving away a little of your freedom!"

So now I see the lineup for 2007 Lollapalooza, Aug 3-5 includes Pearl Jam, Modest Mouse, and My Morning Jacket. And I would love to be there. But I can't. This isn't meant to be an "I'm too old for this crap" diatribe. It's more about being too rebellious. Too free-thinking to agree with the social/political overtones of the whole thing (I'm a third party supporter; the lefties might hate us as much as they hate Bush). Buying overpriced goods just because I'm a captive audience at Lollapalooza makes me feel violated.

I'm also too busy to go. No, this isn't the part of the story where I say I can't get a sitter for my young children. I have other plans with my husband (who was also at Lollapalooza 1993 but with other people; we met two years later). And I'll also be spending some quality time with my horse. Though he sometimes has 23% interest (in what I have to say), he doesn't sway, and the only shows he's been to involved having his mane braided and jumping things. Clearly he has missed out. Maybe I could play "Jesus Built My Hot Rod" for him while I read his Tarot Cards. He can wear his flannel saddle pad and we can talk about the importance of voting.