Long Distance Dating - Tips for Handling an International Relationship

Over the years, I've had several relationships with people from other countries. Because of those experiences, I've learned some valuable lessons. If you are thinking about starting an international relationship or are already in one, you may find the following tips useful.

1. Never send money to someone you don't know! I have read about some people who meet a partner online, fall in love (if that's even possible), send money for support (sometimes for years), pay for family emergencies, get engaged online, and pay for travel and immigration documents; and they do all of those things without ever meeting the person face to face. In the majority of those cases, there is a sad ending for the financier. As we all know, people on the internet are not always what they claim to be. There are a number of people who make a living pretending to seek love, when in reality they seek cash. If you meet someone online, you should meet the potential partner in person before you ever decide to provide any money. A personal visit may not guarantee the person is honest, but it will go a long way toward helping you find out.

2. If you have doubts, use an investigator. Before you spend a great deal of money on an international relationship, it might be a good idea to hire a private investigator. An investigator will cost money, but may save you hundreds or thousands in the long run. Of course, finding an honest private investigator may, in itself, be a challenge. There are a number of sites that have international investigator listings. You can try to find testimonials from clients to help in this endeavor. Another option is a freelance investigator site that uses an escrow service to protect both parties involved. I've used the site and it is very helpful. The site is called Freelance Security.

The following three tips are useful once you've decided to visit your partner in person:

3. If you will be spending a lot of money for the trip, you should have a backup plan. This may sound deceitful or heartless, but it is only using common sense. You should have potential side trips planned or even another potential partner or two to meet. I'm not saying you should make promises and not keep them, but instead, mention to the other potentials that you'll be traveling to the area and MAY be able to visit. That way, if things somehow go poorly with your primary partner, you can go meet with the others. Then, it may not be a wasted trip. The reason I feel it is a good and honest plan is that if things go well with your primary partner, the secondary trips MUST be canceled.

4. If your international partner is economically challenged, be wary of additional family members. When you visit, all the family (cousins, uncles, etc) will probably know and will probably want something. In many poor countries, the people living there think all foreigners are rich.

5. Before you travel, you should research about the areas you will visit. Look for travel advisories and make note of places to avoid. Also, you might find some good tips on places to take your partner once you arrive.