Long Distance Grandparenting

In some cultures, it is very common for generations to all live together under the same roof, with Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents all aiding in the raising of the youth in the family. Unfortunately, America is not one such culture. It is common in the United States fro a young newlywed couple to begin their new life as a family hundreds, even thousands of miles from where their own parents may live. This has both it's drawbacks as well as it's benefits. For grandparents who may only get to see their grandchildren a few times a year, that lack of physical closeness may be the most difficult hurdle to get over. How can you, as a grandmother or grandfather achieve a close bonded relationship with your childrens' children from a distance? Well, there are a few novel ideas that I can suggest to get you started.

First of all, use technology to your advantage. If your grandchildren have internet access, ask their parents to open an email account for them or to share thier already existing account with their children so that you can send them e-cards (many are free!) and email notes. You can also instant message with older children. Phone calls are a wonderful way to stay in touch. If cost is a concern in terms of long distance calls, perhaps purchase a cell phone plan to share with your family members that allows unlimited free calls between memebers of the same calling plan. Cost-effective phone cards are also available through many phone companies and stores nationwide.

Nothing beats good old fashioned snail mail. My children recieve little care packages from their grandmother and great grandmother routinly throughout teh year. The beauty of this is that it really does not cost very much to send a care package to a young loved-one. Most of the packages my children have recieved have consisted mainly of dollar store items, toys found at tag sales and handwritten letters and cards. Some ideas to get you started in filling a box of love for your grandchildren: Bubble gum, lollipops, stickers, new toothbrushes, crayons and a new coloring book, storybooks, gift certificates for McDonalds or other fast food joints, makeup, photos, etc... Begin to collect little odds and ends to mail out and keep these items in a box in your home to dip into and mail out when you feel the need.

For younger children, photos can be helpful in allowing them to recognize who you are. Send a photo or two of yourself and ask your children to hang these in a prime location for viewing, perhaps on a fridge or a bulliten board in their bedroom. Home videos are helpful in the same way. Thsi is a great way for toddlers to begn to link a face with a name and be more comfortabel in truly KNOWING you at holiday get-togethers.

With just a little creativity you can have a wonderful relationship with your grandchildren, in spite of a difference in location. My own children all are very close with their grandmother even though she lives nearly 1,000 miles away from them and only gets to see them a couple of times a year. This is because, although she lives so far away, she has made a special effort to show them just how much she loves them. It doesn't take very much to do so. Begin today! Tell your grandchildren how much you love THEM!