Long Distance Relationships

People fall in love. Some find it nearby. Others find it afar. Oftentimes, we have advice for those engaged in the geographically close relationships. However, it is a different story when it to long distance lovers who are seeking suggestions regarding the enhancement of their relationships. There is a misconception that LDR (long distance relationship) is automatically doomed for failure. Therefore, most of our peers consider it a waste of time to try sharing tips with those who are engaged in a LDR. It is time we open our eyes and see there is a growing trend of folks involving in LDR. We should always be ready to give them a helping hand.

It is no secret that most of us long for some kind of an intimate relationship. There is something inside each of us which compels us to seek out that special someone to share ourselves with. In searching for love, we have two options. These options include the geographically close and long distance relationships.

Things are changing in the world of dating and romance. People are now, according to my personal observations, are finding themselves in long distance relationships. Sometimes, it is due to difficult circumstances such as job relocation, economy, and family situations. In these cases, the couples started out as the geographically close kind. Others have relied on internet dating sites to find true love. There are a few who met a friend of a friend somewhere, and they exchanged numbers because they live far apart.

I have been engaged in a LDR twice. Each of them lasted a year. The funny (or shall I say ironic) thing is half of my peers, who were in the traditional kind of relationship, never lasted more than three months. This is not to say long distance relationships work better, but it does show one is not necessarily better than the other. In fact, the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships (a division of J. F. Milne publications) conducted a multitude of surveys concerning this subject. It has been revealed in their surveys that "LDRs do not break up at any greater rate than more traditional, geographically close, couples."

As previously mentioned in the beginning there is not a significant amount of advice available for LDR couples. Therefore these following 8 tips should be noted for them. These come from my own personal experiences and what I have considered beneficial to share. If you are in a LDR, then read on!

1.) Be honest at all times.

There is a quote enlisted on PoemsLovers.com that caught my eye. The writer said, "Distance doesn't matter if you really love the person, what matters most is your honesty and trust for that relationship to work out." Many people, especially men, would lie about their income, jobs, and past. They do so to build themselves up in the eyes of their partner. They think they have time to make the lies into reality when the relationship becomes more substantial. This is not the way to go because one lie would have to be covered by another lie, which would pull in another lie. To avoid such a web of falsehood, one should tell the truth at times. If you have to lie about yourself to make the other person like you, then that person just may not be worth it. True love requires truth at all times.

2.) Have patience.

There will be days in which you and the other person will not be able to communicate. Like you, he or she has other things to do. Constantly remind yourself that your girlfriend/boyfriend's schedule is not always going to be similar to yours. If this is hard to do, then a LDR is not for you.

3.) Have a plan.

Eddie Corbano writes in his Ten Rules to Make Long Distance Relationships Work that it is best to "have a relationship plan for the future." No, he does not mean jump into a discussion of marriage at the beginning of the relationship. This will scare the other person away. What he means is both people should have an open discussion on what they would expect from each other. Have this kind of discussions frequently to ensure of your interest in each other's goals and aspirations. This will enable you to see how far the other person is willing to strengthen the relationship with you.

4.) Trust him/her.

You cannot have any kind of relationship if you cannot trust the person. End of discussion.

5.) Meet regularly.

It is romantic to schedule short trips with each other on a regular basis. The times you spend together will be much more rewarding because you have missed each other so much by the time you finally get together. Each time you get together you will learn more about each other. It will feel almost magical when this happens provided that you have conducted yourself in this relationship with honesty and integrity.

6.) Take advantage of internet communication.

I love my Yahoo and AOL messengers. They have enabled me to talk to my special females as often we could. Take advantage of these internet goodies because you can hear his voice, see his body language on the computer camera, and chat about anything that is on your heart without running up the phone bill.

7.) Give yourselves a free day.

Once again, I must mention Corbano. In loves game.com he writes that you need to "give yourselves a free day." In a long distance relationship we tend to spend so much time contacting each other each day since we do not see each other often like traditional couples. As a result we miss out on other things. We tend to be less social with our friends and family. We become less interested in our hobbies and interests. We rush home from school or work to sit by the phone or computer waiting for the other person to become available. Before you know it, you become possessive of each other and forgetful of the world around you. Do not fall into this trap. Otherwise, it will make you seemingly needy. There is nothing attractive about this, so give yourself a day or two each week to unwind.

8.) Beware of jealousy.

There were many times in which I witness and hear of long distance relationship break ups. Most of these happen due jealousy. Like any other couple and relationship, those in a LDR must learn to avoid the tendency to become jealous. You knew what you were getting into when you allowed yourself to be engaged in this type of relationship. Therefore it should not be a surprise to you when you know the other person is going out with a group of friends which include both sexes. They may even remain friends with their exes. Talk openly about your concerns and feelings. It may not change anything, but at least you share each other's views. It boils down to open communication. Jealousy often comes from distrust and imagination. Open communication and respect will help increase trust and lessen the power of absurd imaginations.

Can a long distance relationship last? Yes! It is no more difficult than the traditional kind as long as each person remain open, honest, patient, and romantic to each other. You can find love anywhere at anytime, but you must be ready to do what it takes to make it work once you find out what kind of relationship it is.