Long Distance Relationships: Answering the Tough Questions

Can you have a relationship with someone who is hundreds or thousands of miles away? The short answer of that is, unequivocally, yes you can! You can do anything that you set your mind to. That doesn't mean that it is going to be a walk in the park. In fact, it'll be just the opposite of that. But if you truly want to make it work, you can.

The key to making a long distance relationship is the same key to any relationship. Communication. You have to communicate about everything. Make sure that the other person knows exactly what you expect from them. Make sure that the other person knows exactly what you mean when you say something. Make sure that the other person tells you what they expect from you. Make sure that you always ask the other person to clarify how they feel if it could be misconstrued without seeing their face or body language.

How do you go about doing all these things without making the relationship complicated and difficult? You can't. A relationship is never easy, distance just adds a new dimension. There are, however, things that you can do to make it a bit easier.

Telephone conversations. Discuss important issues, questions and details about your relationship via the telephone. E-mail, Text Messages and Instant Messengers are great for flirting and having fun, but when it comes time for the more serious conversations, the telephone is your best friend.

The only thing that could be better for your important discussions, without actually being together in the same room, is a web cam. Coupled with either a voice chat or telephone call, you can hear the inflection in your partner's voice as well as see their body language. If you have a web cam available to you, make use of it. If you don't have one, they aren't all that pricey to purchase any more. A cheap headset microphone to go with it and you'll save yourself a lot of expensive long distance and cell phone calls in the end.

Another thing that will help you in your long distance relationship is to have a concrete plan of meeting. If you're never going to meet, then make sure that your partner knows up front that you are only seeking a long distance relationship. You can't lead someone down a path into a relationship that will never go anywhere and expect them to understand what you want unless you tell them.

Keep in touch. If you can't speak daily, speak as often as you can. Make sure that your partner knows if you have to be away for business or personal matters. Make sure that you don't vanish for a long period of time without your partner knowing where you are. If it is possible that you could be called away for a period, make sure that your partner knows that it is a possibility. If you vanish on your partner for a long period of time without establishing that it is possible, it is highly likely that they will assume that you are done with them and have moved on.

Communicate about everything. If you think a subject is too mundane or unimportant, you still need to communicate about it with your partner. Something that you find mundane and unimportant could be something that they find to be important. If you think that it's something that you would talk about with someone who is not long distance, you need to discuss it with your long distance partner.

Treat your long distance relationship with the same care you would treat a relationship with someone in the same town. Make dates with your partner. It could be a phone date, a text message date, an IM date, or even a web cam date. Keep the dates you make. If you miss your date, make sure that you let your partner know why as soon as you can. Make sure that you don't take your partner for granted. You wouldn't take a local partner for granted, why would you take a long distance one for granted?

You can make a long distance relationship work. You just need to do everything in your power to make it work, starting with the way you communicate with your partner.