Long Distance Valentines

Personal experience aside, I have watched many friends encounter and deal with the trials and tribulations of a long distance relationship. For some, their significant other has signed on to military service and is anywhere from halfway across the country to halfway across the world. For others, they've met online, and visits are infrequent at best, until time and money start to lean their way. And for some, colleges take them to educational opportunities and leave them stranded in a strange town, surrounded by happy couples, while their significant other rests at home or at an equally strange place, full of happy people.

Yet, intimacy on a special day like this is not always about the physical, or the chocolates - although those are good - or even the love making. There are several ways in which you and your partner can grow closer without being physically together. After all - what has kept you together for however long its been? My guess is that its not the sex - its the conversations, the secret jokes you share, and the way you love and respect that person for who they are, not what they look like.

The easiest way to be intimate on Valentine's Day is simple: talk. Each of you set aside twenty minutes or so to devote to each other, over the phone. If it's long distance, pony up and get some AT&T phone cards. If you have cell phones, often Nextel, Cingular, Sprint, Verizon - all of the major companies have "Free time" after seven or nine at night.

The best part about speaking to someone over the phone is that oftentimes, without the physical connection, you find yourself able to say things you wouldn't be able to normally - stuff that you would feel embarrassed about saying face to face. "I love the way you smile" can often be an embarrassing statement, simple though it is, for either side of a couple to make. Telling each other exactly what you like about each other, be it a mental or physical characteristic - from what they say or how they feel about a subject to a behavior you love or how soft their hair is - can make a conversation very enjoyable.

Another great way to foster intimacy in a long distance relationship is to take turns telling stories to each other. "I remember when I was a kid, this one time, I took a dare..." Its amazing how we sometimes forget to make each other laugh. It's also amazing when you find out how much you don't know about your partner. Learning about your partner's past or family, or future hopes and dreams, can be beneficial in all senses.

The most important thing to do is to remind each other of your respective care and love. Valentine's day, after all, is that one day for all of the sickeningly sweet nicknames and statements that you would never, under a normal state of mind, repeat ever again. "I love you so much, muffin cakes, I just want to eat you and all of your cuteness up!" Is something which, although it may incite laughter, will make your partner feel good about who they are.

Valentine's Day can be whatever you two make it out to be. Take some time, in any case, to recognize each other. Take the time to ask how the day went / is going / will go, and really listen to your partner. Make today the 'perfect' day for your relationship. You may find that you come away from your Valentine's experience happier than your friend who had a bad date, got sick from her food, and got the wrong kind of chocolates. A conversation with your significant other - a real conversation - might just make your Valentine's Day the best you ever had.