Long Gone Sodas - Sodas that Fizzled Out Just in Time

I can just imagine the brainstorming session on this one. Early one morning Pepsi-co gathers together its top developers to throw ideas around about a new drink. Half the table is drinking coffee, half Pepsi, all half-asleep. In a moment of sleep deprived delirium, one of the developers, his exhaustion blurring his vision, sees the two drinks meld together. "Pepsi coffee," he yawns. The president of Pepsi-co, often stressed by his morning decision between coffee and Pepsi, declares him a genius, promotes him, and leads him out of the conference room to a standing ovation by Pepsi staff.

Ok, ridiculous perhaps, but so is the idea of coffee-flavored Pepsi. At least the vanilla, lemon and lime additives I can understand (in concept), but coffee? I've never stared at my morning cup and said to myself, "Hmm, you know what would make this taste better? Some soda!" Luckily this product lasted only about as long as the caffeine jitters and was pulled from shelves in 1996. However, a similarly flavored product has emerged in the past year from one of Pepsi's rival companies. What is it they say about learning from other's mistakes (Coca-Cola Blak, I'm looking at you).

Coke with Lemon

At least this one's logical. Coke, especially diet coke, is often paired with lemon in restaurants and in mixed drinks. However, what Coca-Cola didn't advertise is that Coke with Lemon actually tasted a lot like Coke with Windex. The chemical aftertaste of this version of the soda turned off many consumers and led to its discontinuation in 2005. However, if you're still looking for that citrus punch, Coke with Lime (which doesn't taste quite so artificial...if that makes sense when talking about soda...) is still widely available.

Orbitz

If it looked like a child's ball pit, and tasted like melted Jello, then it must have been Orbitz. This short-lived concoction featured a non-carbonated, syrupy drink, spattered with floating orbs of gelatin. True, it looked interesting, but aren't drinks meant to be sipped, not chewed? The novelty drink was marketed by the Canadian company "Clearly Canadian" and drew some attention for its visual appeal. However, Orbitz's multi-flavored concoctions (Pineapple Banana Cherry Coconut, anyone?) failed to impress the public and the gelatinous mixture has been removed from shelves since 1996. Now you can only see the lava-lamp looking drink on eBay and when re-watching "Clueless" for the 10^th time (because Cher carried it around like it was "Ohmygod! Totally awesome!").

Surge

Like addicts experiencing withdrawal from their drug of choice, Surge enthusiasts are still fiending for their favorite beverage. In what might be the most active campaign to save a soft drink of all time, Surge lovers have rallied together at SaveSurge.org to try and convince Coca-Cola to bring back the soda. Apparantly, Surge wasn't just a drink, it was a lifestyle for some people. Surge ipods, Surge recipes, Surge dinner trays; you name it, these fans have found it. At the time I write this, there is even a single can of Surge on bid at eBay for $8. One can! In the past, cases have sold for hundreds. Did we miss something, or did Surge really have a nicotine additive, because really, not much else can explain such an addiction.

Crystal Pepsi

This one is only a phantom of a memory for me, but its horrendous taste has made Crystal Pepsi a legendary soda failure. With the look of Sprite, and the tang of, well...toilet water, maybe? Crystal Pepsi failed despite Pepsi-co's best advertising efforts. This only proves that not even high-tech bus-wrap ads and Van Halen's rockin' addition of "Right Now" can save a terrible product.