Look Smarter: Improve Your Social Image by Seeming to Be Smarter Than You Really Are

The older I get, the harder it seems to keep up with everything. Do you ever find yourself wishing you had studied a little harder in school, or that you had time to read even a few of the volumes of new information that roll off the presses every day? Unfortunately, the harder we try to stay informed, the further behind we seem to get. There are times when we don't really care what other people think about us and can afford to let them draw their own conclusions, but more often we wonder if other people look down on us because we aren't as informed as they are.

Let's face it; we can't know everything, but, sometimes, when it counts the most, we can appear to be a little smarter than we are. Here are some solutions that have worked for me. Maybe you can adapt one or more of them to a situation in your own life.

1. Contribute to a conversation only when you have something worthwhile to contribute.

I recently attended a luncheon where the person seated next to me carried on a non-stop conversation before, during, and after our meal. I don't remember much of what she said except that most of it seemed very trivial to me. I do remember saying, "Really," or "Oh, my," a couple of times, but that is about all. When it came time to leave, my dinner companion said, "I hope we get to sit together again at next month's meeting. You always have such interesting things to say." By keeping my mouth closed, I had appeared to be much smarter than I am.

Of course, that is an extreme example, but it does pay to wait until you have something that adds value to the conversation before you speak. Too often, we tend to just jump in and talk just to be talking. Wisdom, according to the Bible, is being quick to hear, but slow to speak.

2. Concentrate on finding out what really interests the people you regularly spend time with.

Then take time to learn something about at least one of those interests for each person. I remember my husband telling me that a friend of his was really "smart." The friend didn't seem all that "smart" to me, but I began to notice that he always talked with my husband about motorcycles, a subject they were both interested in. You'll be surprised at how intelligent you sound when you are able to talk with someone about his or her favorite hobby or job. If, after looking into the subject, you are still not clear about it, have some good questions ready to ask on the subject. People love to explain their passions to others. This subject is covered in depth in Dale Carnegie's book, How To Win Friends And Influence People. (See the link provided with this article for more information on this book that has been a best seller for many years.)

Another good way to learn about the interests of your friends, especially if they are way over your head, is to check a book on the subject out of the children's department in your local library. These books are factual, but not as deep as an adult book on the same subject would be. You can gain a quick overview of the subject without being driven to tears trying to understand something that is clearly not your cup of tea.

I will confess here that when my grandson asked me to help him with some geometry problems, I was at a loss on how to respond. Should I be honest and tell him, that it was all Greek to me, or should I borrow his 9^th grade math book and make myself miserable for the next month trying to keep three pages ahead of him in the book? I did neither. Instead, I spent a couple of hours in the children's section of the public library, doing a much needed review of general math starting with the 6^th grade textbook. (After all, there were two younger grandchildren coming up who just might need help with fractions, so why not kill three birds with one study session. Now, all three think I am a math expert.

3. Volunteer, occasionally, to speak on subjects you do know something about.

Like everyone else, most of us enjoy talking about subjects close to our hearts. If you have a hobby, or knowledge that would benefit someone else, volunteer to share it. When you have spent time working in a particular area, you usually have information that others would enjoy hearing about. After a while, people will begin to look at you as an expert in that field. Even when you lack knowledge in many other areas, having training or education even in a very small niche can be quite impressive to others.

4, Change the subject when the subject is too far over your head.

Not that you shouldn't be willing to listen to listen to ideas you don't understand or agree with, but when the subject is so deep that you feel like you have spent the last hour standing there with egg on your face, because you don't have a clue about the topic, it's time to do something to keep from looking like a total dunce.

Nothing is wrong with having a few conversational topics to pull out when necessary. The chances are that if you are having trouble keeping up with the discussion, so are others in the group, so watch for a chance to tactfully move on to another subject.

You don't have to be rude about it. Just say something like, "This has been really interesting, but I think our hostess is ready to serve the buffet," or "Wow, Ken. You sure know a lot about the theory of relativity. Where did you go to college?" (Hopefully, unless the hostess really is ready to serve the buffet, the conversation will shift to what colleges each of you attended. If all else fails, you can spill your drink in your lap and excuse yourself, but that tactic should be saved for extreme cases.

5. You can always tell the truth and admit you know nothing about the topic under discussion.

My final suggestion, in a lot of cases, especially if we know members of the group well, is to just say, "This conversation is way beyond me." Then, ask one person to explain what it is that you don't understand, or excuse yourself and find another group that you can fit in with better. Who knows, maybe some other members of the group will join you.

My intention isn't to leave you with the idea that you have to put on airs or to become an obnoxious know-it-all. The above suggestions are simply things we can do to avoid the complete frustration of finding ourselves into a group that is discussing things way out of our level of knowledge.