Looking Lately for Laments to Lighten Up

I've got to lighten up a little. I know, you're going to read the title and say to yourself, 'Oh here's another lament by Lorraine. What dumb thing happened to her now.'

I was going to lie down for a nap with my heating pad, but instead I bolted up wanting to write about the lamentables that occurred of late.

Cold

Always with me is constant cold. Yes, my basal body temperature is 97.8. I am constantly cold, and woolen socks are my constant companions when the heating pad on high yields to the required wearing of shoes. I've got the body heat of a corpse that forgot to lie down.

I also have 'salad hands,' which means that when I make a salad for dinner (as I do every day), rinsing the lettuce makes for evaporative cooling of the little heat that resides at the end of my arms. Hence, 'salad hands' is an occurrence at least once daily. This is when the frozen touch of icey fingers seeks the consistently high heat of my husband's neck. Honestly, there's a hiss of steam upon putting my hands on him there.

I want to know where all that global warming is. And if anybody has some they don't want, send it my way. Why do the glaciers melt Arctic ice when I could use that good geothermal energy right here at home? That four-fifths of a degree in earthly temperature rise would go a long way to bring mine to normal.

Data for lunch

My computer had lunch on my personal data. Ate it all up. Yes, in one errant movement of the mouse, the cyber rodent fed four document and picture files to a folder that didn't know what to do with them. "LYC's stuff": that's me and the files of mine that are gone forever.

For those of you wondering about the technical aspects of that luncheon repast, my files were accidently sent into a system folder that didn't know how to handle document and picture data. I found "LYC's stuff" in a search but access was denied. Besides, the file reported having '0 bytes' of content. Adios, datamigos!

There is one bright light--or two I should say--in this unfortunate episode. Two documents within one of the files sit waiting for upfront payment at Y!CN. I shipped them off to our publisher before my computer got hungry! Harrrumph! Where's a window? I just might jump out if the editor declines.

Broken stone

A broken stone broke my heart earlier this week. It left me cold, well, colder than usual for my usually cold self. (If you want to read the sad story, it comes in two parts, here and here, which are the only places they exist since my copies were consumed right here at home.)

Making jewelry from stones took a big pass this week. Switching to pearls was my only consolation. One necklace of pearls constituted the jewelry production for the past seven days. I wear the broken stone version as a reminder that life throws you a break every now and then. (Irony intended.)

Heading for change

While sympathies are welcome, I am headed for a better place. I'll go to where global warming is real. Judging by all the laws on the books about it, warmer West Coast weather will have me glowing again.

There's an old computer there stuffed with old data that stays where I put it. Besides, when cyber troubles arise, Tech Help is just down the street, in the form of a son who is on call to mom twenty-four-seven, rain, shine or earthquake.

And finally, I will be in a lustrous star-studded environment where women never do dishes and must wear their pearls. Those necklaces, without stones that break and with pearls that never do, will be coveted by all who surround me in glamour.

Yes, things are looking up and lightening up, one photon at a time.