Looking for Love

It is a word of four letters, nothing more or less. A word that brings people to their knees. A word that makes us laugh, cry, be happy or miserable, be dreamy or hazy or all of that simultaneously. But is it the word or the feeling behind the word? The word of course is L-O-V-E and the feeling of love is, well . . . you should know it or do you?

The point however is not the definition of love or the definition of a feeling. The question that I like to raise is why do we seek love so desperately? Why do we go through all this pain and suffering to feel something that we are not even so sure of? We can all claim that we know what love is but the truth is we really do not. I am sure a lot of women would like to disagree because they know deep down what is love. They know that feeling when they see that someone and how they react to them. They can swear by it. I totally agree. I have felt that same feeling. I know how it is. But then again, I am a cynic and I am despised for questioning love. Thus, I ask: How many of us felt "true love" and then few years later whatever we felt was gone. Or maybe the relationship ended for some reason or "irreconcilable differences"? Someone might say that maybe that was not real love because real love lasts forever. But that will bring us back to the first question: what is love? Or "real love?"

If we look around us, we can almost feel the sadness in this world in our own loneliness. We are so desperate to find someone to love us and someone who we can love. And please do not disagree because you know it is true. You know those nights you watched sad romantic movies and cried yourself asleep. You know those nights you were out and watched other couples and wished someone was with you. You know those nights where your desperation made you wish you had someone even just to fight with. You know your desperation when you signed up for harmony.com, match.com, myspace.com, chemistry.com, lavalife.com and all the dotcoms you can think of. If you are surprised, do not be. This is the norm these days. People now travel for hours and pay astounding amount of money just to be with someone for few hours. Better yet, people are now together with people they do not even like but they can not afford to leave because they think they will never be able to find someone else. This is evident in abusive relationships that can go on for years without any logical reason. But it does not end there. Some people hustle through a relationship to go to the next stage just to make sure that the other person can not wiggle away from them and just to tell themselves that they are on the right track even if that person they are with is not the right person for them. Other people sit on the internet all day and night chatting to people thousands of miles away because they give them that hope that "true love" is out there because they were not able to find it at home. Examples of our desperation for love are far too many to list and you probably already do know a person or two who belongs to categories I listed above. You might even be one of those people.

While I think all these desperate attempts for love are sad and absurd I can not blame the people. However, I believe that instead of looking for love, we should be looking for ourselves. We should find out what makes US feel better and try to do that. If you like photography then take some classes or take some pictures! If you like to dance, go dance. If you like to write then do that too. Go work out, live freely and maybe while you are trying to find yourself, you will be able to find true love. We do not have to be necessarily with someone to be happy. We can be alone and function perfectly well.