Los Angeles Adventurer All Suite (Not so Sweet): My Inglewood Adventure

Here we are at 4200 W. Century Boulevard in beautiful Inglewood, CA 90304. This is a deviation from my usual quick get away to the beach.

I haven't spent much time in Los Angeles area, so I didn't know too much about Inglewood. 2Pac and Dr. Dre once mentioned, 'Inglewood, Inglewood always up to no good' in 'California Love." Sure, I'd seen 'Boyz n the Hood' and 'Training Day' but my mind didn't make any useful link to Inglewood that might have otherwise steered me clear of my Inglewood holiday.

I had booked other hotels on the Southwest Airlines web site and never had a problem. I might have thought twice if was called the Los Angeles Adventurer (Compton) All Suites.

When I want to run away from the desert for a day, for a no-nonsense quick get away I'll fly out to San Diego. From Albuquerque, it's so easy I can ride my bike to the airport from my house, jump on plane and land in San Diego in an hour and a half. From there I can hop on a bus that gets me to Ocean Beach in less than 30 minutes. I love going to the beach and I hate driving, so Ocean Beach is perfect for me.

It the 24 hours I might spend there, I am able to gain as much relaxation as if I were on vacation for a week. Since it is just as easy to fly into LAX as it is to San Diego, I thought I would experiment with recreating the same car-free beach get-away. I knew this time, I wouldn't be staying on the beach. I thought it would be easy to get there.

When the desk clerk was unable to locate the reservation I had booked on my airline's website, I missed out on my opportunity to run, maybe back to the airport to jump on a plane back to Albuquerque. I just had my mind set on that L.A. Adventure. Luckily for me, there was plenty of availability.

The website had sold me on many points including free wireless, the 2 pm check out, and the shuttle that went to Venice Beach. When I arrived, I discovered so much more. This place has almost everything including free shuttles to the Fox Hills Mall, Fisherman's Village, Marina del Rey, and Venice Beach... afternoon coffee, tea and fresh baked cookies in the lounge. At 5:00 every evening, the real party starts. The free champagne party is from 5-6. The free dinner buffet starts at 6.

I thought maybe there would be something better to do in the dwindling daylight hours than stick around for the free buffet.

When I arrived at 5:00 pm, I thought I was one of three guests staying at the L.A. Adventurer Not So Sweet. I considered the free champagne. Before the sun went down the property seemed neither menacing nor inviting.

After I checked in the desk clerk explained that I had already missed the once a day pre arranged shuttle to Venice. It leaves at noon everyday and returns at 4.

When I asked how I might otherwise get there, she looked at me funny, and said, "You know there is nothing to do there after dark?' She explained a somewhat complicated bus ride.

Who knows what I would have found there left to my own devices and a burning need to see Venice Beach before sunset. Perhaps the Million Man Homeless March?

She suggested Santa Monica instead. She said it would be easy, only one bus and nothing about it taking what seemed like 3 hours. I like to see every beach, even if I say afterwards, "what a shitty fucking beach," like I did in New England from Kennybunkport to Hampton Beach. I initially had nothing against Santa Monica. I was worn down from my travels. I accidentally stumbled upon the Santa Monica, CA English quarter, if there is one. Ye Olde King's Head Pub. There I feasted on medicre Icelandic cod. This was not the environment I was looking for. I walked around something called the '3rd Street Promenade.' People told me I might find something to do there. Either those people were not cool or I look like I would enjoy that sort of thing. It might have been cool if I was 14 and still liked hanging out at the mall.

I shwilled down my Guinness and contemplated the retracing my bus nightmare back to the bus depot where the hotel shuttle will pick me up.

Santa Monica was definately not worth missing my bus stop in the dark on the return. As I waited for another bus back to the airport at the 'end of the line,' My phone battery was nearly dead and I feared the same for myself. I made a quick phone call so someone would know where I was about to disappear from.

I made it back to the airport where I felt safe for a moment. I wished I hadn't left my laptop in that hotel room or I would have gladly spent all night on a hard, cold chair at LAX. I thought maybe the dingy, smelly 'suite' at the L.A. Adventurer All-Suite would seem much sweeter after I was very, very tired.

Back at the hotel, the party had started. It was a party that I would never ever want to go to even if there was free champagne.

I tried to get change in the bar to tip my shuttle driver. There were tip jars everywhere but nobody who worked there seemed to have any change.

The crack whore said if I bought her a drink, the bartender would give me some change.

The L.A. Adventurer: Not for women traveling alone excluding crack whores.

Other than crackwores, there were some real party people hanging out, sweating, scratching and looking shady.

I got friendly vibes from my fellow patrons, who may have understandably confused me with a crack whore. What else would I possibly be doing there? I decided against seting my laptop in the bar/entertainment area around the pool.

Any other frugal international type travelers at this unique international hostel/resort hotel must be locked in their rooms, feeling dirty.

I haven't found a used condom yet, but in the pattern of red black and yellow carpet, I saw an abnormality peeking out at me from the corner of the room. It wasn't a live cockroach. It was crunched and wilted like it had been there for a few days, dead but undisturbed by a vacuum cleaner.

There is some reddish brown matter spattered on the ceiling. The crime scene clean up team is sloppy in LA. I'm tired now. I hope when I peel back the sheets they are not sticky.

By 6 am, I had dozed off for only a moment. Though the sun had not yet risen, I could tell by the sounds of traffic that Los Angeles was waking up. I had two choices; turn off the alarm on my phone and try to sleep for a little while or get up and leave. I don't know if it would have helped if I had not peeled back the sheets to really look at them. Perhaps I would not have tuned into all of the smells of it all, real or imagined if I had not looked at them.

I avoided the side of the bed with the suspicious looking stain. As I tossed and turned, I found that if I turned to my right side, I swear I could smell a dirty boozy Mennen or Old Spice man odor on the sheet. I imagined the man or several men, laying just as I was, the sheet folded over the blanket, and the bedding tucked up under an armpit. I tossed and turned in that stained, smelly, and uncomfortable bed as long as I could bear.

The one thing the Adventurer delivered as promised on the Southwest airlines website was the free wireless. If it hadn't been available, perhaps it wouldn't have occurred to do a little more research on the place. Instead of browsing myself to sleep I successfully scared the crap out of myself on an even deeper itchier-scratchier level.

"It was disturbing to see one of the drunk security guards scratching himself, complaining of bed bugs."

"I'm 6'5, 325 pounds and a man and I was terrified to go out to the parking lot at night."

"The people who stay at this hotel like to party and NOT in a good way. It caters to middle aged alcoholics; the drinks are cheap."

I chose the L.A. Adventurer for the FREE shuttle to Venice Beach and for the 2 pm checkout. I liked the idea of being able to just chill until 2 pm before an early evening flight home. It was not doing me any good to lay there feeling dirty, scared and uncomfortable. By 6:45 am, I had checked out.