Losing My Virginity This Year

I've decided that I've waited long enough and this year, I will be having sex for the very first time. I came to this conclusion after I met the man I finally envision making love to and it is such a relief. When people find out how old I am and that I am a virgin, they usually ask me why. I've answered with so many different responses but the truth is, I've just never found 'him'. Every since I was 14 years old and I started really paying attention to the opposite sex, I've had crushes but when it came to the thought of having sex with these guys, I couldn't see it. Maybe I've had really high standards because I know I'm not gay or androgynous. The funny thing is, I am a very sexual person by nature. The human body is so beautiful and sacred to me and I've been curious about sexual feelings since I was a small girl and didn't fully understand what it meant. I remember letting little boys touch me and chase me and I did the same back. I remember listening to songs about sex and like I said, I didn't understand it but I liked what I heard. My mom use to force me to wear clothing for goodness sake, so why I'm still a virgin and am so picky even boggles me. I sometimes thought about just being with a guy I liked okay enough but I could never force myself to. I would envy my friends who seemed so free in sleeping with different people and I wanted to be able to do that too. I would go on dates and we'd fool around but when things started to get to that point, I'd say no and ask them to stop. A few wanted to choke me but I held my ground and they took me home. So, when I met Mr. F two years ago and wanted to have sex with him, I was not only happy, I was relieved I wasn't a freak.

I actually decided he was the one last year, before Christmas. Not long ago, I know, but that is when it really hit me. We were at his job and during his break, we went into his office and fooled around. This had occurred before but this time, I didn't want him to stop. He was the one to tell me he had to go back to work or I would have lost my virginity right then and there. I went home that night and thought about him until it became a obsession and I couldn't wait until I saw him again. I knew he wanted me because it was more than obvious but before I could sleep with him, I had to tell him. I didn't even think we'd last this long, so I had kept my mouth shut but with me wanting to take things to the next level, he had to know and soon. I thought of ways to tell him and I even contemplated saying nothing and letting him "find out" but I realized he could seriously hurt me being over zealous. My mouth had difficulties forming the words to say anything, so I wrote a note to him. I told him I was a virgin and I wanted him to be my first. I explained how I wasn't weird, just picky and I had did other things. I was so nervous giving him that letter but that same night he called, he was such a sweetheart. He said he was honored to be my first and the thought of him being the first to venture there, turned him on a lot. He asked about the stuff I had did and being the lady I am, I told him some things but didn't go into details. He told me he planned to make it special for me and I told him that being with him would be special enough. Total cheese ball stuff.

I still am a virgin and it's because we still have to get it together and make it happen. He works like the Scorpio he is and I am trying to do my schooling. We have had many conversations over the phone and he's apologized but I think the anticipation is a little hot, as long as we do this before 2008. I am not going to be a 27 year old virgin. I decided that awhile ago and if that means going to his job and trapping him in the men's room during his break, so be it. I do know that if the actual thing is anywhere as near hot as the phone sex, I'm in trouble and I can't wait.