Loss, and the Refusal to Accept
please
the one about driving through the desert
the one about walking home from school
over the big bridge in oil city
for lunch
the one about your sisters
taking tap dancing lessons
tell me the one about meeting grandpa
for the first time.
tell me
please
the ones i never got to hear
what you felt the first time you held your first child
how you managed on your own
when your world fell apart
tell me what you thought
when i was born.
tell me that you notice
that our hands are the same
tell me that you see me
in dresses shaped
like ones you wore
when you were where i am.
tell me you need to get your hair cut
tell me you're working a crossword
tell me grandpa buys too many things
just because they're buy one get one free.
tell me you're making stuffed dates
and stroganoff
tell me you finished a meal
and didn't just pick.
tell me no one had to feed you.
tell me no one saw you
in your housedress
hair uncombed
at 4 pm.
tell me that you're up
please.
tell me that you see me
tell me that you know me
tell me that you won't let them take you away
tell me
please
that your slippers are still under the bed
because you'll be back
when i wake up.
Published by April Fox
When she isn't writing for sites like livestrong and typef, April can usually be found with her head in a book, lying in the sun blowing bubbles, or perched near the stage listening to music and trying to av... View profile
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3 Comments
Post a CommentApril - just found your site and these thoughts about Mom. It's wonderful. Love, Aunt Barb
Reminds me of when I lived with and cared for my grandmother (and best friend) for 3 years watching her die. Sometimes I still hear her voice and smell her rose perfume, and I still turn my coffee cups like I'm about to place them in her fragile hands and move it to her mouth. It's been 2 years- it really doesn't get any easier. I feel the pain of losing someone over time and watching them fade until they're just plain gone.
such familiar feeling -so scary-so real