Lost

Searching frantically . . . Where is it?
Here?
There?
Where?

Oh, God . . . let it be here somewhere . . . it's like losing a piece of me.

Nope.

Great.

Sigh puffs a cloudy remnant of distress from my mouth. Hand to tufts of hair sticking up like flower petals awry.

Nowhere.

I lost it.

My first Bible . . . the one I received when I was baptized. In short '" my everything Bible.

I miss it.

You know what verse God placed in front of my searching eyes today?

Mark 8:36 (The Message)

Calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?"

This may mean something or nothing to you . . . depending on if the prayer I just spoke at this moment for your searching eyes found rest in your ears. So, I won't bother recounting what God wants to tell you.

Now back to the story . . .

I had talked to my Father about that particular Bible not too long ago among other things. I told Him (please don't think this bragging . . . I beg you.) that I knew this NIV Bible like the palm of my hand, knew where everything was, could finish your sentence if you were to pick it up and read a random verse, etcetera etcetera. And, I said, "God, I really want You to create something new inside me. Give me something new. I want to learn more." So, what happens? I lose my Bible. Shoot. God, that's not what I meant. :)

Haha . . . Oh but how God smiles.

He told me that it's time for someone else to use it. This Bible is nowhere in sight. I always kept it so close to me, you'd think it an attachment of my arm. So, someone took it. :) And, that means they really needed to see something inside that beaten up loved book. Because God delivered. He always does. In the little things and the big. And still, it's not in the ways we really think possible . . . or plausible. It's usually the plausible ones that never catch the corner-sight of our eyes.

And, now? Well . . .

God gave me this beautiful new Sword. It's a Study Bible of Christian Apologetics and such. A beautiful new Sword. Still . . . I miss my old one. :) But, to you who picked up the amazing Word of God with the name of Taylor J. Beisler scribbled on the front, pages and pages of crinkled ink and such sketched on the inside, please read it and see that God really meant for you to have that. :)