Lost Friends

The last half of 2009 was difficult for me. I lost 2 friends within a month, and learned a valuable lesson in the process of my grieving.

First, my friend Norma was involved in a major car accident and did not survive. What made this even harder to grasp was that I had not seen her in about 6 months. There was no fight, no relationship strain... we just got busy. I took it hard because at the height of my troubles in 2006, she was one of several people who brought me back to reality and taught me to see hope. I did not know about her death until I saw her picture in the obituary section of the Kerrville Daily Times. I couldn't believe it, I was sure it had to be a different Norma. I was wrong.

Within a month, my friend Maggie lost her daughter, Linda Lopez to violence. Linda was 20 years old and had a baby boy with her 17-year-old boyfriend, Mario Ramirez. Mario shot and killed Linda with a gun, and when officers arrived at the scene, he approached the officers with the gun in hand. Police shot and killed him. Their baby boy lost both parents that day and he hadn't even turned a year old yet.

Amazingly, Linda's mother, Maggie, has displayed tremendous courage. She did not hold any grudges or unforgiveness towards Mario. She could have become bitter and angry, but instead, turned to God and allowed Him to heal her heart. Maggie has custody of the baby and also has a son of her own, who found Linda's lifeless body in the yard.

When I discovered that Norma had been killed in an automobile accident, I felt tremendous guilt. Norma and I had not seen each other in so many months because we were "busy." What could possibly be more important than keeping in touch with the ones we care about? I made a decision to stay in contact with my loved ones and to not let life carry me too far away from what is truly important.

We all have responsibilities, but we also have a duty to let our family and friends know that we love them. Sometimes I get so busy with life that I forget that my loved ones might not be here tomorrow. It is hard to imagine losing someone, but it happens every day. People are taken by illness, violence, and many other reasons. We don't know when we are going to leave this world, and when I do leave, I want my loved ones to know that I cared and I showed it by always making time for them.

I will miss my friends and wish they had known that I thought of them often. I hope they forgive me for being too busy with work and with wasting my time watching my favorite programs on television and surfing the internet instead of making a phone call or swinging by their place every once in a while. A phone call just takes a few seconds. A visit will take longer, but isn't it worth it?

I am comforted by the fact that Norma was a Catholic who trusted and loved God, even if others didn't see that by her actions. She had some issues, but don't we all? Some of us are just better about hiding our sins then others. Weeks before the murder, Linda recommitted her life to God and wanted to make changes to improve her life and the life of her son.

Linda's recommittment to Christ prior to her death reminds me of a friend of my step-mother-in-law who passed away after a very troubled life. Kim still struggled with her addictions, but she was working very hard at turning her life around. One week before Kim's death, on Easter, she accepted Christ for the very first time. God has impeccable timing.

Norma, Linda, and Kim, we all miss you and will never forget the wonderful impact you had on our lives.