Lost Smiles

A child may be the only pure essence of mankind...untouched, unspoiled, not yet corrupted by a world that is near insanity. The very purity and innocence of a child often is what draws the twisted minds of predators to them and also makes the child an easy victim of even those who know or are related to them. Those who prey on children are often so full of anger, hate, and even pain - they seek to alleviate the festering inside by destroying something pure, sweet, and beautiful - or are simply so cowardly they can only prey on those too small to fight.

The National Center for Missing and Exploited children report a staggering number of 797,500 children go missing in a year's time in our country (according to the U.S. Department of Justice). This number includes those who were victims of family abductions. Many of these almost 800,000 children are never seen again. Since 1984 NCMEC has helped law enforcement on 148,160 cases of missing children resulting in the recovery of more than 132,000 of these children. Yet, when you realize there are near 800,000 of America's children disappearing each year, the recovery rate is still dismal.

Missing and murdered children are not a new statistic. While doing research for another subject, I came across the website of Vintage Kansas City, "100 year old Web Blog". The articles are dated in 1909, many pleas for help in finding missing children. The times have changed but the fears and the agony of parents when children disappear remains the same. Unfortunately, the numbers have risen. Almost 800,000 children each year whose smile a mother or father will not see each day, 800,000 children who may never smile again, and will never trust again. When someone takes a child, if the child lives or not, they have stolen that child's right to the carefree happiness of child hood, killed and subjected their innocence, violated every human decency, and destroyed entire families.

We seldom hear of all the lost children. Sometimes, we see their pictures on posters in stores, post offices, and on the internet. Many people may shiver when they see these beautiful little faces and may go home and give their children an extra smile or hug. But I don't think the reality hits most of us that there are so many families who can not escape the reality of never seeing their child again. Then a case will hit the major news such as the recent disappearance and murder of Sandra Cantu. The shock and the horror of a young child's murder, along with the added shock of a woman being arrested for her abduction and death...wakes us up from our disconnection. We have no choice but to see the seething ugliness amongst us and the grief of those who have fallen victim to the instruments of the one thing I can call pure evil.

The murder of a child is one of the most atrocious acts enacted by humans on other humans. And for women to be the predators, the very continuation of our species seems to be in jeopardy. When those who are the bringers of life, the nurturers of our future...lose the natural instincts given to women for the purpose of continuation...then we must not only face our immortality, but also the possibility that our species may also someday join others in extinction. Because of this, the horror seems ten fold when children are lost because of the actions of women. If you Google this phrase "woman arrested for murder of child" - you will be shocked by the surge of cases involving women perpetrators all over the globe, mother's, strangers, young and old.

I noticed many websites that told what to do if your child disappears or has been exploited. Yet, I did not find many that said what to do to prevent the loss of your child. I have spent many years being ridiculed for my over protective ways. Trust has never been easy for me, but when it came to my children...trust of anyone near them was almost non existent. There was never more than a small hand full of people I ever trusted completely with my children. Pastors, Doctors, Youth Leaders, and Parents of Friends...were never trusted without reason. Sickness often wears a mask of congeniality. I have often in my life seen ugliness peeking from behind the masks people show the world so I have a natural instinct where my children are concerned to never trust blindly.

Instinct is the most important, number one rule of parenting. ALWAYS listen to your instinct. No matter how much or how often your child or anyone else argues with you. My mother always told me it was her job to be my parent not my girlfriend and this meant sometimes her decisions would not be popular. If you are ridiculed for following your instinct, block your ears. Do not let anyone sway you from what you know deep inside even when it seems ridiculous. If you let your child go to a friends for the night and get a sudden instinct to go get them...do. If being called crazy or irrational is not worth the safety of your child...then don't have children. I don't care what anyone thinks of me or ever has thought of me. My children matter more than any other human's opinions.

Granted, I may have good reasons to be more adamant about this. I lived near a family who was murdered along with another neighbor's child who was innocently spending the night. I have been on the streets when I was a young run-a-way. I know who and what is out in this big world. I have seen children who have been beat, sodomized, tortured, abandoned and broken. I have seen the lost smiles floating on posters where they will remain. I have raised enough children to know not every parent is the same. Unfortunately, not every mother or father loves and protects their child so the fact they have children of their own...does not make them safe to be near my child. Creating and giving birth to a child does not require a psychological evaluation, a background check, or good intentions. ANYONE can have children.

As a parent, we must always think of the "what ifs". The "What If's" can very quickly become the "what is". Detachment and denial from the reality of the world we live in is also detrimental to your child's safety. To watch a show about lost or stolen children with detachment and the thought it could never happen to you...is a mistake. The people you are watching also thought this once.

Does this mean you should live in constant fear? No! Fear is simply an excuse to never live. There is a huge difference between careful thought and action and fear. Fear is crippling and unreasonable and says to the brain "THIS WILL HAPPEN!" Fear lets the bad things and the bad people win if you give into it. Being cautious and careful says to the brain "This could happen so I must do this and this to avoid it happening". Stupidity is arrogance and says to the brain "I am untouchable and this will NEVER happen to ME because I am special amongst humans". Balance is when you get all of these together and then let true instinct take over. Think about every time you have done something that hurt you or did not work out. You had at least a twinge that told you NOT to do it. That twinge...was your instinct.

All missing children are at risk of being hurt or killed. We must insist that police departments stop saying "Oh they are just a run-a-way" and instead get moving to find the child. Bad things happen to children out in the world so to blithely act as if they are fine if they ran away is irresponsible. They are still children until they are 18 years old which means they ALL deserve our care and protection and we must insist those hired to "serve and protect" do so. For almost every forever lost smile between the ages of 12 and 17....some Police Department said to some parent..."They are just a run-a-way".

If you think you have seen a child who is missing...don't hesitate to call someone. If your local police refuse to look into it, call the State Police, the FBI...or NCMEC at 1-800-THE LOST, call anyone until someone listens to you. Once again...trust your instinct! Don't feel foolish or worry what someone might think if you are wrong. It would be better to have been wrong then to have been right and done nothing! 800,000 children every single year - need someone to take a chance!

Sources:

100 Years Ago

Missing Kids