Lost Words

i'm in a strange place, tonight
looks like every other place i've been but it makes
every other place seem out of place
if that makes sense

there was no map to get me here, i wandered in alone
and found myself in no time
side by side with you

and the colors all seem brighter, like the sun has just been amplified
a few degrees, just enough to make the sky
alive

the words that used to fall out neatly stacked upon my pages
tumble restless, they are feverish
they'd sleep, i think, if words could sleep
and dream

i am nowhere that i've ever been, i'm everywhere, i'm lost and i
don't want to find my way back to the dark
there are fireflies and it's not time for those
there are stars out in the day time
there is warmth

i am working, cooking, folding laundry
coloring a picture with my smallest one and for a second
there you are and i am eyes closed, smiling
grateful that i have you even when you're far away
i can feel you
i can taste your skin
for a moment i can't breathe
and then i'm back
nico stai in the background
and i'll pretend i don't have the bass turned up in my car
so i can hear you better while i drive
and i'll pretend that i don't save the sweetest texts you send
to read when life is tearing me apart
and i'll pretend that this is nothing more important than the last
when i can't imagine anything coming after

and maybe one day
i'll leave this where you can see it

you killed my fears
you are amazing.

i want to fly in a hot air balloon with you
and look down at the world we've created.
i think if you held my hand i'd be ok.