Love After Fifty: Fantasy or Fiction?

Love, in these days of easy-come-easy-go, hi-tech living, is risky business. More difficult still is love over fifty. By this stage of life, we are more apt to have been wounded one too many times and have learned that loving another takes a lot of time, energy and courage. For a myriad of reasons, we are unsure whether we have the stamina or inclination to engage in that which we have either lost through death, divorce or failure to commit. Yet, the desire to love and be loved by another still permeates our hearts and minds and somehow manages to find it's way into our souls, and when it does, we realize it is the fabric of all that we live for.

It's funny how we can go for decades and not be attracted to another and can even convince ourselves that we are content being on our own. We become self-sufficient, comfortable and confident that our lives are on track and satisfying until without expectation or warning, someone catches our attention. It could be the sparkle in someone's beautiful gray eyes or an unexpected touch of someone's hand, and suddenly that forgotten spark ignites, and life as we have known it for so long changes forever.

Once in motion, that spiral into love is unstoppable. There's no denying those breath taking feelings of intertwined emotions and heart flutters when two souls connect. Try as we may to ignore, hide or deny these feelings, all attempts to douse the flames of love are futile. Call it a chemical reaction or spiritual connection, love is more powerful and all consuming than our will and won't be dismissed without a fearsome fight.

I once thought that love could only be validated by the physical act of making love. I've come to realize that true love is so much more than the physical aspect of intimate pleasure. There is a connection of the senses that takes place that can actually be felt physically, emotionally and spiritually. Some would call it extrasensory and too fantastic to be real. I believe we all sense it on some level, but not all of us are aware of or are sensitive enough to feel, smell, taste or hear the subtle interactions between two people in love.

Whether in the same room or thousands of miles apart, the symphony of love continues to play. Whispers in the night, sensations of hearts beating in unison or that feeling of warm energy pulsating through our entire being, we know the source and it takes our breath away every time. Songs, poems, plays and books have been written about it. Legends of the greatest of love stories ever told have survived for centuries.

Considering all these feelings, why is it still so hard to come to terms with being in love? Why is it so terrifying to tell another that we love them completely and without reservation? One would think that surviving several disappointing relationships and two failed marriages, would make it easier, but I guess we all fear being hurt. The point is we survive love lost, and we continue to fall in love. Some of us even survive the death of a loved one and go on to find another that turns out to be as great or an even greater love.

For many years, I looked at love as something for young people. It would be foolish of me to entertain the idea of someone finding me attractive, let alone sexy and loveable. After all, I am nearing the end of my fifties and have long since lost my girlish figure. It's funny how we still feel young and vibrant and in spite of the fact that we are wiser and have gleaned so much character, heart and passion from life's experiences, we still harbor those same insecurities that tormented us in our teens, twenties and thirties. I'm too ugly, too fat, too thin, too buxom, not buxom enough, under-educated, and now, too old, too flabby, too wrinkled, etc., etc.

The truth is, love sees beyond all our flaws, fears, short-comings and objections. I believe this to be so, because, I have found that love is, above all things, spiritual. Behind all that is physical, emotional and mental, Spirit, knows our hearts. No matter what we do, don't do, say or think, love still creeps into our hearts and catches us unaware. We can run, we can hide, we can deny it's existence and we can even ignore it and send it away, but like us, love survives and lives on in our hearts and souls. Love, truly changes us forever each and every time.

Is love after fifty worth the inconvenience of having to share our space, beds, vulnerabilities and all else that we have come to take for granted in our lives? I'm still waiting to find out, but I'll report back when I do.