Love Your Children

They believe that they are providing constructive criticism, but they are actually giving them more insecurities than what they may have already felt or place insecurities where they hadn't thought about. You have to love your children without judging them based on their appearances, behaviors, etc.

Suppose your child is overweight. It is acceptable to tell your child that fatty foods are to be eaten in moderation, as long as you are also eating fatty foods in moderation as well. It is not acceptable for you to cut these types of foods from their diet and not from yours. What will happen is that your child is not going to know what is right or wrong, and will end up craving the same foods that you are trying to cut from their diet. Eating out one or two nights a week and making healthier meals the rest of the week, will help your child cut down on bad eating habits. It will make your child realize that you are not judging them, but helping your child to be a healthier person.

Your child wants to play a musical instrument or wants to sing in the school musical. You don't care for instruments and you wouldn't be caught dead singing on stage, but the best thing to do would be to let them try it. Trying to persuade them not to do it because you think your child is not good enough is not the best thing. They may not see it as good criticism, and even if they did, they might hold it against you for the rest of their adult life. Who wants to hear every day that you were the reason for them not reaching their potential? Supporting your child in discovering their talent is the best thing.

Respect the person they might become. Your child is in high school already and suddenly they want a change in clothes, hairstyles, hair color, jewelry etc. What harm could there be in letting them express their individuality? As long as they are respectful to you and others, are not in trouble with the law or are in a gang, letting them discover who they are can help them discover whom they will become. They could end up being a manicurist, hairstylist, tattoo artist, or fashion designer.

Treat your child the same even if they have a disability. Children with disabilities can do things like play in sports, or swim just like everyone else. Accommodations can be made for your child if they have a physical disability, and knowing that you are helping and supporting them, can boost their self esteem ten times higher than telling them their disability won't let them do things that other children can. They will know that you will always be there for them, regardless of the situation.

Ridiculing them to make them stop wearing funny clothes, bullying them to make them stronger, picking on them for being themselves, or telling them to cover up their acne instead of taking them to the doctor, will just make them insecure. No matter how much you think that doing these things will help their self esteem, it will not and it can make your child do the same thing to their younger siblings, relatives, or kids in school because they will think that this is the way they should be. Kids can be resilient and fragile both at the same time, but giving love to your children without judging them, will make them a stronger and better person as they grow older.