Love Comforteth like Sunshine After Rain

"Love comforteth like sunshine after rain"-William Shakespeare

Numbers have never been my thing. Accounting, calculus, geometry is a foreign language; one Ive never been able to read, communicate, or understand. This ignorance translates into my failure to remember birthdays, phone numbers, anniversary dates, and so on.. Often I have nightmares of calculators bullying me into a corner and spitting equations at me, or random numbers whizzed by my head like a boomerang from the almighty hand of Chuck Norris. Its been an embarrassing flaw, most often I'm reminded after the fact when a birthday has taken place a week prior or when an anniversary lies only a day away and I havent dumped a card into the trusty mailbox. "Must have gotten lost in the mail," is the little bullet proof automated response I find has never been penetrated. When in doubt, blame it on the United States Postal System.

There is one date, however, that is branded on my brain like a tattoo, assuring me to never forget it. Ive been tearing off each month of my disposable work calendar with eager anticipation, knowing that I was getting closer to June 18th, the official date of my one year wedding anniversary.

As I think back, I remember standing in the private room with my two brothers and the preacher, waiting for my cue to walk out to the altar to wait for my bride. I was more nervous than I imagined anyone has ever been. I urged my oldest brother, Justin, to continually tell me a good joke so that it took my mind off of being in front of a crowd that size. Two hundred people with two eyes each, again I'm bad at math but I do know thats 400 eyes looking at me at once! His jokes worked to a degree, until the song came on signaling it was time for me to make my appearance to the world. The preacher turned to me and looked me in the eyes. With a slight smile and soft tone he said, "Are you ready?" His words were comforting, with an undertone indicating these three words meant so much more than the obvious. Was I ready? Of course I was. I had been waiting my whole life to meet a girl like Brittany and I was ready to wrap her up, put a bow on her and call her mine before a better looking guy came along and discovered this wonderful gal. I was Jed Clampett and Brittany was some very fine oil. Before we walked out, my middle brother named Zach whispered in my ear, "If it makes you feel better, just know that when she walks out there wont be a single eye on you. They'll all be looking at how gorgeous your soon to be bride is."

I felt better then. We walked out front, stopping along the way to exchange a few smiles with some familiar faces in the crowd. There was a collective "Awww" on the mouths of many women, leaving me to ponder whether they were talking about my charming looks in the tux or did I leave my fly open? Are they saying "Oh?" or "Awww?" I got over my paranoia, and within a couple of minutes, another song came on and the doors in the back opened. She walked out wearing her beautiful wedding dress, adorning her father on her arm, and a smile on her face that made me melt. My eyes teared up. My heart started to pound. This was it. We joined hands as she finally approached. God I love this girl. I love that she does this to me. As the ceremony proceeded, its almost as if everyone in the crowd vanished. The paranoid, "Is my hair messed up? Does my tux look right? I hope I dont pass out," nervous Ben relaxed and instead became quite intoxicated with the situation. I realized then, it was just the two of us in the room. Noone else. I looked into her eyes like I have never looked into them before. I saw the face of God. This is the happiest Ive ever been. She was soon going to be my wife. My wife. A word that so many people today overlook the meaning of, the true devoted meaning of love at its greatest level. I just promised to God, in front of 200 people, that I would give my all to this woman for as long as my heart has a beat.

And I never felt better.

Now, almost a year later I think back to the words and they echo in my mind like a rock cast into the Grand Canyon. "Are you ready?" Ill be the first to admit the first year of marriage isnt exactly the easiest. Emotionally, spiritually, and any other "ally" you can tack on, I was ready. However, its not my love that has wavered, in fact it is the glue that binds us together. A pretty strong glue, an adhesive that would probably hold the wig onto Donald Trumps head. It's almost as if Brittany and I live in this perfect little sphere, filled with compassion and admiration for each other and the outside world preys on our sphere looking for a way to disrupt it. The ordinary stresses of life tend to interfere and can blind us of whats really important. Have I paid the water bill? Do I need to clean up the dogs crap in the backyard? Have you washed the dark clothes? I need to fill up my car with gas. Is it time to mow the yard? Did you make the mortgage payment on time? And most recently, is Hurricane Alberto going to come through the coast and take my house away?

Don't get the wrong impression here, the last year has been an eventful one. The amount of crap dumped onto us in the last year would drive most people to the nearest bottle or atleast live a lifestyle that would make any alcoholic smile like a proud father. Besides committing to each other forever, since June 18th, 2005 my wife and I have gotten a dog that never sleeps and is always in "crazy" gear, Britts started a new two year school program, Im still seeking to become an established real estate agent, weve sold the condo we lived in, bought and moved into a new house, there have been deaths in the family, I've had a car accident, bought an investment house, had a cancer scare and a minor surgery, and the list goes on and on. These events spawn other issues such as: "Since Britt is in school and cannot work, where are we going to get extra income?"

Needless to say, as its always the case, money has been tight; putting an extreme amount of pressure on the new groom to produce. Last year was very productive for a newbie to the business, nearly three million dollars in real estate sales. That's a lot of $150,000 homes, by the way. This year, however, has been slow. The real estate market is softening and its completely out of my control. Theres that word again, pressure. Like sitting on a balloon, Ive been known from time to time to pop. Migraine headaches, sleepless nights, thinking dollar signs, arguments with Britt, short fuse with the dog. Its all taken its toll on me. But there is a happy ending here. However, I didn't win the lottery or get a big commission; pulling me from the inevitable financial hole. I simply realized something that had been in front of me all along.

Despite how much money is rolling in and how many layers of crap is being added to make one giant, delicious red velvet crap cake, Ive still got Brittany. Though some look down on cliches, I beg permission to be able to use one. Actually, not a cliche but a John Lennon lyric. All you need is love. So true.

If our love for one another could be equated with a monetary value then we could retire now and live on the beach. She makes all things for me possible. Shes stood by me during some rough times and is there to offer the hand to pick me back up. Shes shared the tears with me, comforted me, massaged my head when my brain felt as if it were going to explode onto the walls, leaving a cool neo abstract art masterpiece. One that could fetch a pretty penny or two on Ebay.

It's true that behind every great man is a great woman. And this great woman has a list of things that I love about her. Big things and Small things. This list is long, and Ill skip down to number five because the first four are all body parts. I love how she sneaks into the kitchen to get chocolate from the pantry, as if Im an Officer of Sweets and I could arrest her for going over the legal chocolate intake level. Or how shes completely unaware every night when she drinks red wine while cooking dinner her teeth turn a nice shade of purple. Its so cute I could just kill myself. And the beautiful thing is, this is our first year. As time passes I will discover more and more daily habits/rituals that to her seems instinct but to me are trivial and very much appreciated.

I have to say, part of the problem with the increasing failed marriages and divorce rates in America can be traced to Hollywood, and how they have cheapened the traditional views of the sanctity of marriage. Stars get married on a whim, only to separate months later because they found out the other didnt like something as minor as the love of sushi or the same television shows. Or some celebs swap mates like baseball trading cards, treating the faithful clause like a New Years resolution which are, most of the time, treated lightly and broken within weeks. Like taking a shirt back to the store to get your refund, it's been too convenient for celebrities to go in and out of marriages b/c the spark that ignited the relationship in the beginning has tapered off and does not have the "new" feeling anymore. Was there somewhere in the Bible that said it was okay for celebrities to marry because it was the newest trend? Like some sort of new Louis Vutton purse? Or wearing Kabbalah bracelets? In certain situations I can see why divorce is the best route, but to me America is on a slippery slope. Sliding toward a society where marriage is a thing of the past, a pasttime...

To me, marriage was the best decision I've made in my lifetime. And the great part is that decision was made with another person, a commitment. And on June 18th, were reminded that our commitment has lasted one year longer. And the next year. And the next. And maybe when were older and our hairs a light shade of grey, well still be cuddling under the blankets, holding hands, thinking back on how we made it another year. But for now, this marks our first year. And I expect that the next will get easier, just as time always proves so.

And for the days where life gets hard, Im reminded of the girl in the wedding dress with the smile that makes all things better. Thank you, Brittany. Happy Anniversary, Darling.