Love, Hate, and The Secret Life of Bees

There are numerous themes in Sue Monk Kidd's "The Secret Life of Bees," however the theme that most embodies the entire novel is love and hate. Kidd observes many levels of love and hate, pinpointing the gray areas where the two emotions blend into one another. She also uses them in the other themes that can be found in the book, such as innocence vs. experience, culture and identity, conformity and rebellion, and most certainly the presence of Death.

Since the book is written in first person, all the observations are objective. Making Lily Owens only fourteen was an excellent decision because she's on the cusp of adulthood and can see life from two different perspectives. She's ignorant of the world and the more she sees, the more she realizes about herself. The many relationships she has with different characters as well as with society mold her own definitions of love and hate.

Lily's relationship with her father T. Ray is her embodiment of hatred, from him as well as towards him. She calls him by his first name because "'Daddy' never fit him" (2). From the very beginning to the end, he never once shows any form of affection or love towards her. She often wonders why he seems to hate her as much as he does and in the end, she sympathizes with him. For Lily, T. Ray is an example of what happens when hate consumes someone and she vows to get as far from him as she can as soon as she can. When she finally achieves her freedom with the Calendar Sisters, T. Ray tells her, "Good riddance," (298) with little protest.

For most of the book, Lily's basic personification of love is her mother, or at least the memories she has of her are. She also blames herself for her mother's death because her "first and only memory of (her)...was the day she died"(5). The guilt of that day weighs heavily on Lily and has always affected her relationship with T. Ray. When Lily discovers that her mother was going to be leaving anyway, Lily feels the complete opposite. This is one of the gray areas Kidd explores. Because she's young and confused, Lily finds it difficult to completely understand why she would leave her. The death of her mother may have been fueling her love and the truth may have sparked her hate, but the understanding August helped her realize was that her mother was only human.

Rosaleen is another character that Lily often has mixed feelings towards. Lily "sometimes... purely (hates) her,"(10) but she also knows that "despite her sharp ways...(Rosaleen loves her) beyond reason"(11). She's often annoyed with Rosaleen and their relationship has many hills and valleys. Both characters feel the same towards each other based mostly on the fact that they are culturally different and they identify with very opposite societies. Like her mother, Rosaleen stood up for her towards T. Ray, further categorizing both of them.

The three racists that Rosaleen pours her spit on are much like T. Ray in Lily's eyes. They freely refer to her as a "Nigger" and blatantly laugh at her when she informs them she is on her way to vote. They personify the same facet of society Lily lives in but unlike the people that have the same skin color as her, she doesn't look down upon or mistreat African Americans. She distinguishes that difference with love and hate because all the colored people in her life are more accepting and loving towards her. Lily also identifies with them because like her they are also misunderstood and oppressed.

August is a very physical and real illustration of love. She freely allows Lily and Rosaleen to live in her home and she doesn't pressure them for details. "Everything in time,"(87) she says, simply wanting to be a place for Lily and Rosaleen to find refuge. When Lily learns of the relationship August and her mother had, her image of motherly love becomes stronger.

Over time, even June warms up to their presence. Her initial suspicions were based mostly on the fact that Lily was white. The other women and men of the sisters' church show love and affection towards Lily over time as well, despite that fact that she is of another race.

Lily's relationship with Zach can't fully be described as romantic. Since she's only fourteen, she can't understand completely the complexities of their relationship. Their attraction is more of a forbidden fruit and a part of her rebellion. She definitely feels affection for him and he does for her as well. Many times, the color of their skin becomes a conflict but her ability to love is tested when she stands up for him when he's arrested.

The one person Lily conflicts love and hate the most with is herself. For the majority of the novel, she blames herself for her mother's death. It's what drives her. All the themes are inner conflicts for her and in the end they help her to grow. She takes the final step into adulthood when she learns to forgive herself for something that was not her fault.

Kidd set out to accomplish many things when she wrote "The Secret Life of Bees." Through Lily Owens, she wanted to show the innocence and experience adolescents go through as well as the conflict of conformity and rebellion they are forced to face. She also wanted to illustrate the cultural problems of the time and the ways that people identified themselves. With the presence of death she was able to shows the emotional depths youth can take us. With out love and hate though, none of these themes would have been able to exist in the same book. Lily Owens love and hate is what makes her human and is what makes Kidd a success.

Works Cited

Kidd, Sue Monk. The Secret Life of Bees. New York: Penguin, 2003.