Love Isn't a Game

[Let it be noted that this is strictly from the opinion that relationships are the pursuit of love and a meaningful connection with another human being. If you see dating as a way to get laid, as a vessel to entertain yourself or as something that is ever supposed to be short term. Please stop reading now.]

Love isn't a game. And dating is the process of falling and finding someone to love and be with. Therefore it shouldn't be made into a game either. My girlfriend and I were sitting on the phone the other day, she was entertaining herself by looking through some dating quiz and tips on Yahoo. I got quite flustered with it for a few reasons.

I'm a diehard romantic, that needs to be established. So I do have a bit of a bias. But nothing in any of these "tips" and "lists" about how to "get" your guy or girl mentioned the opinion of the "object of your affections", what would make them happy, or their feelings. It treated it like a game, a war of sorts between yourself and any competitors. In fact they suggested nothing of what I've found important in trying to establish a relationship.

Wait and Question
You like someone. They have captured your affections. They're beautiful and amazing and wonderful, etc. Now pause a moment. How well do you know them? What do you want? Can they give that to you...and more than that. What do they want? Can you give it to them? At this point, you probably don't know unless you've just realized your falling for your best friend.

If You Care for Them. Their Happiness is Paramount
If you care about them, then their happiness should be what matters to you. Most people I see, and from those tips especially espouse an attitude of. "See. Want. Pursue. Have" Which struck me as uncaring, idiotic and extremely short sited. In essence, nothing that should ever be used if you want to establish any sort of romantic attachment to someone on a long term basis. And that is because it doesn't matter or take into account what the person you are "pursuing" wants and what would make them happy.

Communicate. Get to Know them
Those questions you have and had. Start communicating and getting to know the person you like or love. Talk to them of dreams and hopes. More than that, don't find out their likes and dislikes. Find out the reasons for the things they like and dislike. The whys and hows of a person not the whats.

You Shouldn't Date an Object
Don't see them as an object to be pursued. Nobody wants to be an object. It's true that it is fun to be pursued, but who really truly wants to be simply an object? Now I know there are those who do and I understand that, however that is something that should be maintained within a relationship. Respect the person you care for. Respect them and their opinions, their wants and desires. Don't play games with their heart.