Love isn't Magical, it's Hard Work: A Humble Perspective into Modern Ways of Love

If love was magical and magic is an illusion, would that make love an illusion then? I do not know. Should people believe in love or no? Does it exist? Does it not exist? Or are there some levels of love? I ask that every time I look into a girl's eyes. Yes, I do look in their eyes too. It is not just ass and boobs. Eyes say a lot. There girl may be the sweetest girl, the best in all domains but she could be a lying goddess. They are all over the place. But hey, men are not better. I mean that is the main reason I am questioning love. Because I could be with one of the best girls I met, yet another one passes by and I am checking her out. What is that? Yeah you may say that I am not serious about this girl I am with, but what about married people? Can they be more serious? They married the bloody woman they were with. Or Maybe they married the girl who passed by. The point is, two years later, if you are lucky, they are chasing after the office bimbo or even the girl next door. But of course, there are hopeful people out there. There are people who believe in "you had me at hello" and Romeo and Juliet. Truth is, it is very, and please underline VERY, rare to find that. Guys meet girls, women meet men, they like each other and they do "it". The woman falls in love for chemical reasons. The man is convinced this is the best yet so he stays A year later, the woman is still in love but leery and the man is bored and looking for the next hot ass. That is the bad man scenario. Let us take a look at a bad woman scenario. First let me say that women will never understand men and vice versa. No matter how experienced you are ladies, men are not the same. True they are all ruthless pigs but some men are finer than others are. Some would really stay. Some will really love. Some will really cry and some will really believe. These few men will be the one heart broken at the end of the year. Women, however, do not always appreciate. Neither do men. Some women will appreciate. Some will smile when you bring that one rose instead of a bouquet. Some will appreciate the man trying. The true equation here is to match that woman who appreciates with the man who tries. The equation is never easy due to the radical elements. You have the friends from both sides who think that the man or the woman can do better. There is the socio-economic level, there is the intellectual level or the cultural difference and then there is the beauty question of course. A girl or a guy has to be somewhat cute. It astounds me sometimes when I see a not so good-looking girl or girl who is really looking for someone that is HOT. Learn your levels people. If you are a below five do not go for a nine. Your most aspiration could be a six. Trust me on this; it is for your benefit. It will avoid many embarrassments and heartaches. Unless of course you are a Donald Trump then it is a different story. This brings me back to the bad woman scenario that I was supposed to write about earlier.

A woman needs attention. And no it is not just you staring in her eyes day and night and whispering sweet nothings. She wants attention from the wallet. She wants expensive gifts, fine restaurants, she wants you to tip generously, and she wants to be in a nice car. Show up in your old tempo with a crumpled shirt to take her to Denny's and a movie and you are done. Ok so I hear you screaming that is not true. Let me give you an example. Show up in a suit driving your waxed BMW M3 to take her to a romantic dinner in the Signature lounge and you probably going to need to stop for Durex on the way back. I suggest you buy t prior. Now, if one woman argued that is not true, I suggest you answer that on the lie detector. It is not all about the money but it sure does help. A woman who wants to debate will say so what? We want a guy who looks nice, drives a nice car, and takes us somewhere nice. I do not see anything wrong with that myself if the guy affords it. If not, you better start liking Denny's. There is a balance between the two of course. You can go to Friday's or something. Now, say the guy is ok. Take it to the next level: the checklist. Is he talkative? Or is he quiet? Is he toned or is he fat? Do you see dandruff on the shoulders? Is the shoe shined? Is the breath ok? Are the teeth white? Is he funny? Is he too nice? Is he athletic? Is he a geek? Is he going bald? How are the nails? What about the way he dressed? Is the cologne too much? How about that uni-brow? Is he too skinny? Too white? Is he a good dancer because you know what they say? Is he alcoholic? Does he smoke? Is he lazy? Is he a drug addict? Is he too smart? Is he too dumb? Did he open the door? Is he too jealous? Is he too controlling? Is he a good kisser? Is he a player? Is he good in bed? And the list goes on and on.

Women are always wondering in the back of their mind. Men are always being tested. It is like a probation period except that it does not end. Men are easier in that domain giving that everything remains constant. For instance, men look at the butt, boobs, legs, eyes, smile, hair and hygiene. Of course, it does not necessarily come in this order but it depends on the man. On the personality level, men wants someone who is supportive, funny, naughty when needed, lady-like when needed, not flirty with anyone but him. Therefore, if all these things remain the same over the course of time, the man ceases to test the woman and gives a grade and voila! Of course, the woman will say that is not true because the man will get bored and look for someone else. The answer to that is: if a movie gets boring, is it your fault or the people who make the movie? Not saying that a woman is a movie but it is an example. A guy begins to think a woman is boring when she stops the teasing and becomes too engulfed in life or in the relationship. For instance, she starts asking where the relationship is headed if it was a marriage she starts asking what their plan is for children or life, house, or career etc. To a man, all these things are just details. Most guys do not really care where the relationship is headed or the wall colors in the den or where will he put the kid when is born nine months from now. Now ask a guy what you should wear tonight in bed when he comes home and you got his attention. If that does not get his attention then something is wrong and you should move on.

Any woman is a work of art. God really spent more time working on eve. That is why Adam came first. You can say Eve is the upgrade or the sequel. Before you cheer at the upgrade point stop and think about it. Upgrades or sequels are not usually better. Women are definitely more complicated than men are. They take stuff you said 2 years, 6 months, 3 weeks and 5 days ago and retain against you for some argument. They listen to what is in their head and not necessarily to what you are saying. For instance, you say, "Let's skip dessert" and she snaps back and says, "Why you think I am fat? No I didn't say that did I? But she thinks you implied it. Women look between the lines when men are much simpler than that. You are lucky there are even lines for men. Women are experienced in the art of lying and let us not start with fake orgasms. A woman can convince you she loves you or hates you if she chooses to. A woman can convince you she is having a good time when she is not. A woman can be friendly to you when she does not like you. True sometimes women lie so they do not hurt the man but the man will deeply be hurt at the end of the line. I would rather you hurt me a little now than a lot later. The intricacy of women goes further. Women like to be chased. Thus, they might like you but humiliate you in public. They will tell you no when you asked them to dance to see your reaction while they would love to dance. They will go out with your best friend to make you jealous while they actually want to go out with you. They will tell you lets be friends when they do not want to. They will tell you to stop when they mean keep going. They will go out with a complete jerk when they say then want a nice guy. When they go out with the nice guy, they will say he is boring!

So where are we now? Both males and females are bad? What is the answer? Well the answer is in many things. One is compromise. It is ok if she does not have the Jolie Lips or the JLo Butt. It is ok if he does not have the Pitt Abs or the Bloom cuteness. Ok maybe she is not as sweet as beckinsale in "Serendipity" or as lovable as Jerry McGuire but he or she loves you and willing to do anything for you and that is more important. Compromises go further. If you are stylish and he is not then try your best to make him look nicer but do not over do it. If she cannot cook then try to learn together. It will be fun for both of you and practice makes perfect. If the food is not perfect, someone else will be happy to eat it. If she is jealous, try not to make her and if he is stubborn then do not make it harder. If you feel like comedy and she feels like romantic then you can watch a romantic comedy. It works.

Communication is a very important element of success. You cannot have a healthy relationship without sharing your thoughts and feelings. For instance, if you are upset because he kissed this girl on the cheek then let him know. Let him know in a good funny way and not in an aggressive negative way. Little things count when it comes to communication. So, if you keep stuff from him and he keeps stuff from you then what is the point of the relationship really?

Trust is really a key and it is very hard to achieve. Trusting a man or a woman is like trusting a train going 75 mph to stop before it hits you. It takes a lot of work but it is not impossible to achieve. Once it is achieved, you can enjoy a peaceful relationship. Once it is broken then the relationship is over. Prepare for some pain and tears.

Respect is also very important in a relationship. You have to respect her for working, going to school, raising kids, cooking, doing dishes, or whatever she does. Even if you just met this girl and she is not doing all of the above you still must respect her. Same for you ladies. How can you be with a man you cannot respect? A man likes to be respected. He likes when someone is proud of him even for nothing like Britney says of Federline Achieving respect is not easy for a woman because most guys do not respect women and take them for granted. If you feel your partner is not respecting you then leave the relationship.

Understanding is essential. Understand that it is hard for a woman to look at Angelina Jolie and not get ideas. Understand that a woman can get ideas looking at Brad Pitt too. Understand that sometimes guys do not want to talk and sometimes women are just having a bad day or two or three or a week. You know what I am talking about. Understand that if someone is not happy it is not necessarily your fault. Give them time.

Things not needed in a relationship are jealousy, control, competition, anxiousness and drama.

Please note that these are not rules that have no exceptions. There are exceptions to every rule!

Ok, this ends the article. I think it is funny that when I wrote this, my girl friend at the time did not like it and said it was not true. She left for the guy with the more expensive car!!