Love Lies and Marriage

I think back to the days when I was shaking my booty in cold at a game. Wondering why we don't have enough clothes on, and I can't wait to meet my man after this and get it on. I was living the life of a college student and I had a ball. From the parties - men - cars- money - alcohol (no drugs thank goodness) - to the trips to Cancun I have experienced it and I have learned a lot from it. That was well over 10 years ago in college, and boy has so much changed. There is just one thing that has not Love Lies and Marriage. As a single parent there is so much that I have learned about the world of Love Lies and Marriage. I have been in love before and it felt like I was on cloud 9.10.11.12 ......But when the money was good and the cars were plenty the love that we had began to fall apart, was replaced by Lies. Oh there were lies about everything, who we were sleeping with, who was in the car, what we did for the day and the night. I would ask when will this all stop and go back to the way it was - when I was on cloud 9? I have always found the answer to be maybe I was on cloud 9 by myself and I just did not know it. When it got to be too much to handle, you now the calls about I've got your man and oh by the way I'm having his baby were enough. I bailed out.

Months later I asked why did I stay so long? It is really simple guys we are waiting for it to go back to the way it was. To the point where we actually liked our significant other and could tolerate them. We tend to think if we reinvent the wheel we will be happy again. However I have learned the hard way that no it does not get better but it only gets worse. Not worse them but worse for you, until you realize you deserve better. Much better! You decide to take control and make it work for you. That's what I did. I have always valued honesty and I have always been honest about my relationships with others, whether I was bored and began dating someone else or that I simply wanted out. By the way it's much easier to walk away than to jump to chapter 10 when you have not completed chapter 1!!!!

But why must so many of us lie? Is it that we can not show who we really are to the person we so call love? Is it that we feel vulnerable at being able to tell the truth? I don't know what it is but I just wish others would choose honesty over a lie. Friends of mine would always say I love my man I will die for my man he is mine, yet when we go out and party, she is no longer his. what happens when he becomes someone else's for one or 2 nights do you tell him that you too have stepped out with another?

One of my associates is married and they stress their love for each other all the time. I think it's really cute how in love they are when they are together. When they are apart they are completely different people. They are both major flirts and accept advances from people outside their relationship. While out shopping I asked her does your husband know about the other men she is involved with? She said "No, and I don't plan to tell him." This puzzled the hell out of me because I am such an upfront person who hates to hide things from those I love. She asked me if I would do the same to my current partner and I replied " I would tell him first so I know that we are on the same page. You should not have reason to lie. You are who you are." Well at the end of the day she got a taste of her own medicine when she found her husband in bed with her sister and a co-worker. Yeah....I guess he was not planning on telling her either.

The more people I meet the more I hear about their stories of Lies, Love and Marriage. I always end up asking the same question what is wrong with the truth?