Love and Life : a Short Insight

What makes someone truly believe they are in love? Is it the feeling of being complete? Is it the feeling that you can do no wrong around your significant other? I'm not sure what makes you truly believe without questioning. I always question. I am told that I question too much. I find that without questioning we will live a bland and bleak existence. What makes people stop questioning? Where in life do people just give up the right to think freely? I am not a zombie. I think for myself.

My people are visionaries, revolutionaries, poets, philosophers, novelists, teachers, songwriters, thinkers, and most importantly lovers. Love is what makes my world go around. For some it is money or work. These things are unimportant to me. I don't care if I go to my grave with nothing in my bank account. I care about the legacy that I leave behind. The people that I have loved along the way are who I care about at the end of the day.

Without love we are nothing. Without love we are not human. Love makes us happy and sad all at the same time. It makes us jealous. It makes us want to die when we lose it. Love powers many souls. Love has started wars as well as ended them. When asked about love most people think back to when they were younger. Things are simpler in youth. As we grow older we lose touch with our hearts and minds. This loss is what makes the world a cruel and evil place. Without love and imagination we become bland and useless to ourselves. Our superiors like this loss very much. It helps them make money off our lack of ambition.

Corporations thrive off loveless and mindless individuals. This world was once full of romantics and thinkers. It has been said that we have advanced and progressed as humans. I do not believe this to be true. We may have technology that can perform modern miracles but we have lost our way. We aren't able to think freely or to act on our thoughts. The world restricts us. It makes things too structured.

Structure isn't all bad, but when this structure interferes with our thoughts and beliefs is when we have lost our lives. I will not lose my love for life. I will not give up my right to think freely. I challenge whoever reads this to do the same. Life isn't about fueling the corporate world around us. Too many people go down that boring and heart stealing path.

Without love we are nothing. Find something to care about. Find someone to love. Find a reason to live. Without love there is no reason to carry on. I have found love and I have lost it. I have thrown love away. I have been careless. I have cared too much sometimes. I have forgiven, I have had some be unforgiving. I will not forget my lovers or the ones who never loved me back. These thoughts drive me to be a better person down the road. Without failures in love we can never truly appreciate loves reward. Never stop thinking. Never stop loving.

At the end of my day when I lay down to sleep I think back to when I was in love with life. I strive to have that feeling everyday. I have found another who can help me become better and stronger through love. Hopefully I can do the same for her. She is my rock. She is the levee that keeps the waves of life's troubles from. crashing down too hard on the coast of my soul. I have expectations and fears. I have dreams. Maybe too many dreams. I don't think there are enough years in a lifetime to accomplish all that I wish to.

Throughout this life we start to learn how to accomplish things. We start to learn how to deal with our fears of growing old and fears of death. We never really get over these fears. We learn to subdue them. We learn how to put them far back in our minds. Without these fears we would have nothing to try to overcome. These fears of life and of aging are what drive us to succeed and at the same time drive us mad. We are never good enough for ourselves. We are never good enough for those around us either.

I stopped caring long ago about the thoughts that others had about me. I want to be remembered but I'm not going to do what the world wants me to do. I am my own. I control my destiny. I will not let the jealous and hypocritical control what I believe to be right for me .

2

Today I discovered what I want from this life. I want another of myself. I want a tiny me. Someone that I can shape and mold. Someone that can live up to all my expectations. I want a child that can succeed where I have failed in life. I want a child that is going to succeed in areas that I will eventually fail in. One thing that I definitely will not fail in is raising my child. Love again comes about in this part of life. I will love my child and support my child. I will need my son or daughter as much as they will need me.

They will keep me going. They will give me a reason to grow up. I need this. I need the motivation. What better way to get motivated than to have a child? As the sun gets closer to coming up my day still has not ended. I am tired. I am exhausted from life. Slowly life is being breathed back into me. I have found someone. Someone that I believe can help me raise a beautiful son or daughter. How can I be sure about this? How do I know that this is more than just a fairy tale romance?

I don't want story book love or movie love. I want real love. The kind of love that makes your heart burn with desire to see them every morning when you awake. The type of love that makes your heart ache when you upset them. I am nothing special. I have no possessions or wealth. She loves me for me. She doesn't care about money or fame. This is what makes me know that I can love her and not be afraid. When I lay my head down and close my eyes she is the last image I see. When I awake and before I even open my eyes she is the first thing that graces my mind.

She is peace. She is understanding. She is my confidence. She is love. Her innocence has taken me prisoner. Her kiss has made me surrender all thoughts of any other women. I no longer wonder what the blonde in the tight jeans might look like naked. I don't care. All I care about is her love. I will not let her down. I will not fail her. She is my anchor. She is my shield. Without her love I might as well just wither away and be forgotten by this world. She is my blood, heart, soul, and mind. Her love encompasses me and everything that defines me.

How do I even know if she is real? Is she just a figment of my overactive imagination? Have I created her to feel my void? How can I be sure? I guess I won't really know if she is just in my mind. This is a question I will have to suffer through without truly knowing. the answer. She is so perfect. This can't be real. She is a mixture of all the best points in women that I have come to adore over the years. She is sweet and sincere. She is tough on me. I watch what I say around her. Why do I do these things?

Am I the one controlling these aspects of her? When I get bored will she just float out of my head? Is she more than just a thought? I hope so. If she is just a dream I guess I am just crazy then. I want to be with her all day. I can't stand it when she is not around. What makes me long for her kiss, her smell, and her touch? I don't really want the answer. I'm afraid to know. If I know what the secret of her seduction is I may accidentally destroy it. I don't want that to happen.