Love Relations

Little Changes Make for Better Relations

alwy lobo
"Love your neighbor as you yourself ". " Love your enemy ". These are the core teachings of Jesus which he himself practiced during his years on this earth as a human person. . This is the spiritual values of love in short and the literary meaning if love is to have a string feeling of deep affection for somebody. Love plays a leading role in relationships to interconnect one another closely. Love and relationships are interdependent in what so ever. These can't be successful without the other. Relationship in general is a vast topic and there are various relationships: parental relationship, brotherly relationship, friendly relationship and so on. One among them is love relationship between a man and a woman, may be married or unmarried.

Faces of love:

Love has got two faces: man and woman ; each one with its own way of expressing it , values, demands, needs, expectations and its own way of expressing, giving and receiving it. Man and woman are different in their way of feeling the love. Women's egos are dependent not on looking "competent" but rather on being in loving relationship. Man pulls away and comes back to the relationships in a full swing .women talk about problems to get closer to somebody in a relationship. When a man feels needed, trusted and appreciated in a relationship, he feels empowered and energized and has more to give the relationship. On the other hand a woman attains the fulfillment when she feels cared for and her feelings respected and has more to give the relationship.

Love reaction:

When one is in a love relationship, he begins to care about another as much as himself, because he learns to experience his partner's fulfillment as if it were his own. In a love relationship he can easily endure any hardship to make his partner happy because her happiness makes him happy. Though a man by nature feels satisfied by serving himself alone, his self-gratification no longer satisfies him when he is in a love relationship. Love liberates a man from the inertia of self-gratification and teaches himself to give others selflessly. In love relationship both man and woman not only give love but also starve for it. Men have a win /lose philosophy and women, lose/win philosophy which is harmful in a relationship. Where as when two come into a love relationship they begin to develop a new philosophy ,a win/win philosophy to create a world love where every cares for others as much as himself .it is because love motivates them to be the best they can be in order to serve the other with unselfish feeling .

The needs in a love relationship:

Most of the needs in relationship can be summarized as the need for love. man and woman each have 6 primary love needs .men primarily need trust , acceptance appreciation ,admiration ,approval and encouragement ,where as women primarily need caring understanding respect ,devotion, validation and reassurance .This doesn't mean that men and women have no other needs but they also need the needs of their opposite sex. Understanding these primary kinds of love that partner need is a powerful secret for improving relationship. Relationship at large becomes easier when one understands his /her partner's primary needs. These different kinds of love are reciprocal that when one gives full, he also receives in full. With a greater awareness of these 6 primary needs of love, one can redirect one's relationship dramatically easier and more fulfilling.

Challenges:

One of the most difficult challenges in the love relationship is handling differences and disagreements. These disagreements turn into arguments which are the distracting elements in a relationship and begin hurting each other. This hurt not only their feelings but also their relationship. Intimidation always weakens trust in a relationship. Another difficult challenge in a relationship is unclear and unloving communication. This type of problem arises when one feels that he /she gives too much but receives a little. Both men and women feel that they give but do not get back. They feel that their love is unacknowledged and unappreciated. The truth is that they are both giving love but not in the desired manner. Love often fails because people instinctively give what they want, because his and her love needs are different.

Healing a love relationship

One of the primary and important means to heal a relationship is through communication, and this way of supporting the other is a feather in their cap. To love is to trust the other. If trust fails to make a place in a relationship, one can't expect anything great to happen in their relationship. There are three steps to heal a love relationship: The 1st step is that one has to be motivated to fulfill the others needs of love; the second step is that one has to take responsibilities for other's feeling of happiness as well as frustration and the third step is to practice setting and respecting the limits of the others. The important point here is that to enrich our relationship we need to make little changes, which can be made without sacrificing who we are, not which require some suppression of which we truly are. Hence to make a healthy loving relationship one has to make a little change in his /her life style, attitudes and behavior.

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