Love & Relationships for Today's Computer Nerd

A novelty topic for nerds around the world is, and has always been, the elusive female. As a former 'Net Nerd myself, I used to feel left out of the "chick clique," having to resign myself to lame "a/s/l/p???" in AOL chatrooms in the hopes that one of the ladies sending me their info was indeed who they claimed to be, or that the picture they IMed me wasn't scanned from a cutout Vogue magazine. Sure, there was the possibility of online dating, but my brief foray into that realm led to an immensely awkward situation with a girl who lied about her age and was in fact four years younger than me. Normally not a problem, except that I was sixteen. You do the math.

It was a sad existence. Yet, this deluded fantasy plagues every computer geek on the planet. Is there hope for our kind? Or are we doomed to the fat, unsanitary, acne-riddled lives we have been pigeon-holed into for so many
decades?

I first encountered the idea of long-term online relationships when I was a sophomore in high school, where I attempted to establish lasting relationships with people in a highly trafficked anime chatroom, whose name shall remain unpublished. There, I met a myriad of personalities, who at first were stuck in their role-playing characters but later opened up and began sharing with me their lives outside of cyberspace. It was then that real relationships were formed for me, at a time when such friends were desperately needed. Finally, a community of people who were always there for me, and I could rely on to talk to every night between six pm and one am! Sure, my academics and sleep schedule suffered, but I was happy.

A year later, I had my first online "girlfriend." I told no one outside of my internet life about her; after all, what computer geek feels comfortable sharing his online world with outsiders, especially those who are more concerned about partying and sports? So I kept my new girlfriend a secret; from my friends, my parents, anyone who wasn't part of my new online clique.

My relationship with this girl developed for a whopping three years (longer than any relationship to date for me), at which point we decided to screw it all and meet up. She lived in Florida and I in New York, so this would require a trip of monumental proportions for a college freshman. My opportunity came about over Spring Break, when my two college friends invited me on their road trip down south. I jumped aboard, not telling them my real reason for wanting to go. On the car ride down, however, I bore all to my trusting friends, who were as excited about the idea as I was. Could this be? A solitary internet junkie like myself, with a real-deal girlfriend? There must be a catch, I thought. But three years of knowing a person can't lie, right? We had exchanged emails, letters, phone calls, photographs, birthday gifts, the works. And in my heart of hearts, I knew she was every bit the wonderful girl I knew her to be.

We pulled up to her house at eight pm on a Saturday night. The initial introductions were a tad awkward, but I felt an immediate connection to the girl who was just as beautiful and quirky as I had hoped. My friends, equally impressed, were astounded with how I had done it. We spent the night at her friend's house. We talked about our days in the online realm (we had ceased going to the initial chatroom two years earlier and never looked back), but also caught up on our "real lives" as well. We talked about the people we knew then, and how, in fact, several of them had done what we were doing: met their online significant others in person and formed serious relationships. An unproven account of an engaged couple, and several others who had moved in together or at least met and became fast friends.

We talked for hours, and did some other things college kids do, details aside. It was a fantastic experience. The trip wasn't all peaches and roses, as later that night we ended up having to flee said party and avoid my girlfriend's parents for several hours in a motel in Jacksonville. But that, dear reader, is a story for another occasion.
To make a long story short, we parted on shaky terms (not due to our own feelings but because the circumstances that arose that very weekend with her family), but remained together for a solid year after that. The break-up was as difficult as any I have experienced before or since, and while we still talk, my feelings linger. We have seen each other a few times since, and the same connection is there each time. It is true what they say about first loves; even if they are found through a screen with no spoken words or physical contact.

So that, fellow nerds and computer junkies, is my story. We are not as hopeless as we might sometimes think, and while our route may not be the mainstream or accepted way, there are people looking to find us just as we are looking to find them. And sometimes, we have no further to look than right under our mouse-clicking finger.