Love is Thicker Than Blood

At the ages of 19 and 20, my momma threw me out of the house. The second time, she threw me straight to the street. My pops left us all when i was 7 yrs old because he felt that while he had a wife and three rugrats, he needed to have more fun in his life. iF you feel his pain, you deserve to have your legs broken. My sisters and i all went about our business separately, evolving into three very different people. My family never understood my dedication to my friends, who were all my brothers. Kind of like serving in the military together, we rolled through the ghettos, avoiding all the nastiness of the Pit.

Nowadays, my mother gets mad at me when i avoid the fighting and conflict of family functions. Though she threw me to the street, i still love my mom, just like i love my pops, even though i'd rather have nothing to do with the old bastard. A thought occurred to me this year after something clicked about something my mom would say when i was younger. She'd say "You need to spend time with your family." At the time, it didn't mean much of anything to me. Just something a mom would say to say it. Like required summer reading, which i never did either. iN the last year though, i began to question why. Why spend time with people who would rather throw me out on the street, treat me like trash, or degrade me because i can't find a job? People that you're taught are supposed to be there and help you through anything. Support you no matter what. My family didn't do that kind of thing. We're an Irish family, to the very core. Working class. But there's not much love there. Not from what i can see through their actions. My two sisters degrade me for being out of work, which depresses me anyway. My dad shoots down my dreams and thoughts and jokes. My mom kicks me out.

So, i thought, what happened? Where did we all go wrong? Why am i willing to take in any of my friends and my family throws out one of their very own blood? Was it something i did? Nope. Believe it or not, i try my best to be a good brother and son. i never made fun of my folks and supported my sisters the best i could. i only turned on my dad because of all the nasty crap he did to us years ago.

When i was 19, i wondered where my family was. Sure, i had their love and support, like my aunt. She housed me for a month while i worked up the money for an apartment. Gave me some furniture. Y'know, stuff like that. My family outside the immediate is great, but i generally don't know them that well. And they've been dying off recently. So, their not gonna be around much longer. i choose to let them be. My immediate family helped out some, too, but not like most people would expect. Meatballs. Ha ha. Those were good eatin'. i ended up moving back in with my mom to start a job around the corner from her apartment. Needless to say, i lost that job. January of '07, she threw me out again, but this time, i had no one to turn to. For two weeks, i slept in the park and ate with what little money i had. i made my way back out to the city i had lived in the summer before, where i had friends that would try their best to help me. And they helped me phenomenally. iT was at this time in my life that i finally found the family i always wanted. Brothers and sisters who would never let me sleep in the park again. A surrogate mother who acted more like a mom than my mom. i found what i had been looking for. iT only took me fifteen years.

Not to say i don't love my blood. i do, but my relationship with them is more business like than anything else. My non-blood family has helped me out too much for me not to recognize them as anything less than family. And now, i have a big brother, as well as many younger ones. My best friends are gonna be down for life. Ain't nothing can stop us now. We're all together.

What has baffled my new family the most is how my mom could throw me out to sleep in a park bathroom. i say it's nothing to think of, which is true. iT's all good, homie. We all got each other now. Love. iT's what i got.

My name is 3d Graffiti and Orson Scott Card can kiss my ass.