"Love Thy Neighbour as Thyself"

Whether we like it or not I believe that this is exactly what we all inadvertently do.
If we don't love ourselves we reflect back our self hatred onto all those who we deal with. Mistreatment of others all derives it's nature from inner self hatred.
This is why I believe that those of us who mistreat others; our children, spouses, parents, co-workers, indeed anyone, all are in need of compassion and healing. If and when they're not beating us up that is.
Wherever I hear a negative remark I automatically 'look behind' to question what has caused the self hatred that has motivated the 'utterer'.
Sometimes we are unable to look behind someone elses' negative remark and/or treatment being dished out because it reflects and touches upon some of our own, personal self loathing.

Most people espouse values of compassion, equality and love - but my mother taught me at a young age to ignore such blanket statements and, instead, examine the actions instead of the talk. Teach and learn by example she taught me.
Incidentally this is a good ploy to use when troubled by prozelytisers who come knocking at your door!

Me; I am able to love someone but not love their actions. This ability kept me working with violent offenders in prisons for so many years.
Often when people are accusing someone of something I consider the possibility that their anger may be directed at themselves, but only externalized onto another person. In other words people often are doing what it is they are accusing another person of doing. So - looking behind is very important.

I am well known for never taking sides. In fact it can annoy people - but I strongly make the point of letting people know I don't take sides.

Not taking sides also means not betraying anyone. It means being able to listen to both sides of the fence whilst not betraying. And not betraying also means not airing your own opinion - or even having one at all. Being non judgmental is a skill well worth acquiring.

In fact taking sides or betraying anyone is the stuff that may well get you killed working in prisons.

So - be careful of negativity. Behind all negativity is blaming. When someone else is being negative or is blaming ask if what they accuse someone else of is even true. It may be true, but equally likely it may be untrue of the other person, but true of the blamer.
So - before leveling a negative comment towards someone turn it around to ask yourself if it is really true.

If we could all truly love ourselves then we would also love everyone else. If we loved ourselves we would not hurt another.
So perhaps we could say, "Love yourself then you can love others".