Love in the Time of Reality TV Shows

I admit it; I was one of the masses that watched Flavor of Love. I even watched the second season and watched all that nonsense. But even I groaned when I heard there was going to be a third season of this reality show for the former NWA rapper. "Surely," I thought, "he realizes that all these girls are nothing more than glory hogs and don't really love him?" Obviously not. To add more insult to injury is the Rock of Love with Bret Michaels which is an even skankier metal version of the former show. It was amazing that Michaels would look at Flavor Flav's show and have his own pitched to him and believed that he could find someone he wanted to spend his life with through this venue.

While shows like this are nothing new (see The Bachelor or even the one season show Married by America) they are fast losing their appeal as none of the couples that get together on the show stay together. And why is that I bet people wonder? Well there are many facts. Logically when you're dating without the benefit of having a camera on you all hours of the day, you are not showing every aspect of yourself at first. Most people wait until a couple of months into the relationship to show some of their flaws such as their tempers. Another reason is the camera that is on you almost every waking hour of the day. Knowing that all of America will see you and the way you choose to act will make any sane person act a little bit differently thus creating a false persona for America as well as the person that they are trying to hook up with. When the cameras stop rolling, the person in question stops being so self-conscious and will act like themselves, leaving the person that they are with confused as they never really saw this side of the person they are now in love with and may resent it resulting in a break up. And it's a vicious cycle in the case of the musicians above as once they do break up with the person that they hooked up with on the show, here comes the executives clamoring for another season and another chance at finding "true" love.

Not only are these shows somewhat annoying, but they create a false idea of love and dating. The dating world is competitive true but unlike on That's Amora! I doubt that in the real world you would have to see how many meatballs you can fit into your mouth to try and win a date. Dating is a slow sometimes arduous process of getting to know everything you can know about the person you're trying to date (and maybe one day marry) on a one-to-one basis not with thousands of television viewers watching you and gasping and scolding every little decision you make. And love that leads to marriage is not easy anyone who says that is a liar. You can't up and leave a marriage (which these shows want to all eventually lead to) just because it gets hard. You have to work through it and expecting someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with to be perfect is unrealistic and selfish.

No one knows what goes on behind closed doors so I don't know what went wrong with Flav's first two "winners" and Bret's first. However now it's getting to the point where it's pathetic for both musicians as well as the girls because it's a pretty safe bet that everyone is there for the TV exposure and not their love for the stars because honestly how can you fall for someone that you don't see on regular basis face to face? While I want to wish the guys the best of luck in the search for love I don't think it will happen until they ditch the un-reality show and go out into the dating world themselves without the presence of a camera and stupid competition games to win a date.