Love, Where Do You Find It?

In the world of yesteryear it was easier to find a partner. We lived in smaller communities and knew each other, knew the families in town, sometimes going back to Adam and Eve, it seems. So finding a partner was not so much "finding" because everybody already knew each other. And because people grew up together, went to the same schools, to dances later on, you had time to consider who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Of course, it didn't always work out like that. If you considered too long, the person you had your eye on was married to somebody else before you knew it. It was the same in large cities, I think. People still had their own neighborhoods, where they stuck to their own. So supply of partners was not really short.

In the past communities were ready-made. If you were a Catholic girl, it was highly encouraged to come home with a "nice Catholic boy"; the implication : don't you dare to come home with something else. But it didn't matter, the Church was full of eligible bachelors and if not, I"m sure the priest knew of someone. And I'm sure it was the same with the Protestants. Of course, there was another side of this particular coin. You had to get married. If you were not married in those days, there "was something wrong with you". What exactly was not clear. Many un-married people in the past have been unjustified whispered about.

These days many people choose to have an education first, then a career. There is no doubt great joy and fulfillment in a career, and many people choose to stay single. For some it pales after a while. You hit a certain age, start looking around you and suddenly the world exists of families, kids, dogs and couples. Of course they were always there, you just didn't notice it. All of a sudden the career is not everything you've always wanted. Your life is not complete you think. Going out to a single-bar is stating the obvious you think. But you go anyway because you never know who you might meet. And true, you might meet the partner you've always wanted. You can stop reading now. All the others read on please.

So how will you ever meet Mr./Mrs.Right? First of all: you don't have the advantage of a bygone era, of knowing people in your community/village/church. In large cities these days it's impossible. I'm not suggesting to move to a small village either, that life is not what it use to be, believe me. But "create" your own community, by joining something you like. Could be a local film-club, or painting-classes, a Church, a biking-club. Also: If you just take the bus or train for a couple of weeks, instead of taking the car, you'll be surprised how many people you'll meet. I'm not in favor of picking up strangers in the supermarket, but a half-empty trolley with 3 bananas, 1 liter of milk and a can of cat-food is usually an indication that that person is single. So, go to that supermarket again, talk to the staff, make it your own little "community" around you. Listen to people when they talk about their single sisters or brothers. Perhaps you can ask that person out. And perhaps the guy next-door, who has been living there for years (but who you never noticed) might well be The One. Keep your eyes open.