Love Can Be Years in the Making

When I was a kid in elementary school, I was sure I would never marry. While all of my little girlfriends giggled and blushed over boys, I scowled and made grimacing faces. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty of friends who were boys, but I never considered any of them "cute" or thought of them in affectionate ways.

Middle school was not much different, though I did begin to develop an interest in boys. However, due to meeting a whole new group of kids who had known each other since they could walk, I found it difficult to fit in. (The middle school I had transferred into included its own elementary school, which I had not attended.)

High school marked the beginning of my fascination with the opposite sex, especially when, during my freshman year, I met Matthew Clark.

I was a person of very little "free time," and the "free time" I did have I spent with my cousins in a slightly smaller city, 35 minutes away. It was rare that I had a weekend away from responsibilities, whether that be homework or extra-curricular activities, so when I found myself with nothing to do on a Saturday, I jumped at the occasion to hang out with my cousin. We were going to the mall during the holiday season. Neither of us had any money, so borrowing money from our parents, we decided to stop at Sbarro's Pizza for a bite to eat.

I had met a few of my cousin's friends, but he hadn't introduced me to the guy who would walk into Sbarro's right behind us. I don't even think we said more than, "Hi," to each other (I know, typical, sappy, teenage love story, right?), but that was enough for each of us to bug my poor cousin for the each other's phone number. Before too long, we were spending hours of time and wreaking havoc on long-distance phone bills calling each other. We talked about video games and movies and generally had a good time joking around with one another. We considered it "dating" though we never actually went on a date, and we would not see each other again for a very long time...

Due to our hectic high school schedules, we lost touch after a while. My mom grew tired of paying double on the phone bill, and I just couldn't keep my days straight with school projects and competitions. Matthew and I stopped talking all together.

Fast-forward five years...

At the age of 19, after a single year of college, I moved to the little city where I had first met Matthew. I'd decided to take a break from school for a year and get out into the "real, working world." I had no idea what major I wanted to commit to in college and was in no rush to decide, so instead of wasting any more money on school, I decided to earn money, as well as life experience.

On one of my days of "Life Experience" I happened to be standing, with my friend, Ben, across the street from a seemingly insignificant car, freshly parked at the curb. I was right outside a friend's house. He was supposed to be there already but hadn't arrived. The car door opens and out walks a different friend. I hadn't seen him in about a year, so we decided to catch up for a few minutes. He explained that he and his friend were looking at apartments in the area. Ben walked around to the other side of the car and began talking to the guy in the driver's seat. That guy was Matthew Clark, but I wouldn't know that until after he left, when Ben would decide to tell me who he was. The funny thing about that particular incident is that I had met both Ben and Matthew on the same day at Sbarro's Pizza. Matthew had lost contact with both Ben and my cousins, so being distracted by Ben, he didn't notice me either. I was too busy talking to an "old friend" that I didn't notice either.

I remember being very irritated that Ben didn't get Matthew's phone number...

Fast-forward three years...

At the age of 22 I'd moved out of my cousin's house and back to the city I'd grown up in. Attending college sporadically (as in going a quarter, taking a quarter off, going another quarter, etc...) and working full-time at a video store kept me busy enough. To stay in touch with friends, I decided to get a Myspace account. I had a boyfriend at the time (yes, another friend of my cousin's), but our relationship was falling apart after two years of being committed, so after calling it "quits," one of my cousins decided it was time to enlighten me to a certain gentleman who occupied his own space on Myspace. This gentleman was none other than the friend from three years ago who had gotten out of Matthew's car to talk to me. Though I had dated him before, we made much better friends than partners, so I was happy to catch up with him.

While on his Myspace profile, I couldn't help but notice a familiar face in his friend's list. I asked him if I should know the guy, to which he replied, "Well, I hope you do... You dated him, didn't you?" Matthew Clark stared back at me on Myspace! Within minutes, I sent him an email re-introducing myself. He replied, of course, and as both of us grew excited over this "reunion," we also grew a little weary of the circumstances.

As it turned out, Matthew no longer lived 35 minutes away. He now lived 35 hours away and was in the Air Force. He was also scheduled for a 6-month deployment to Kuwait. He would be leaving in 4 months.

I happen to be one of those people who believe that things happen for a reason, so I was not going to let this opportunity pass me by...

My life became a blur as I scrambled for enough money in savings to buy a roundtrip ticket to California to go see my "High School Sweetheart." Matt planned on coming back to Ohio to see his family before he shipped out, but he wasn't sure it would work out. I was not going to miss another chance to finally see him, so after making sure he would have at least a little free time for me, out to California I flew!

On the plane-ride there, I sat next to a young woman who must have noticed how excited I seemed. She asked why I was traveling. Thankful to have a willing listener, I filled our 2+ hour flight with my exciting news (well, it was exciting to me anyways), and much to my surprise, she was overjoyed to hear it! She loved that it had been nearly 8 years since Matt and I had seen each other and offered to give my her employee discount on any car of my choice at a certain dealership in Santa Barbara, California. She worked there as a manager and said she wanted to give me her "Friend's and Family" discount. I never ended up buying a new car, but it was nice of her to offer.

When I finally arrived at Matthew's apartment, I was very nervous. Though I'd met him before and talked to him during High School, it all seemed very crazy that I had traveled across the country to see him. My lifestyle then was more "freestyle" than it is now. Now, I would never do such a thing, but as a young(er) adult, I frequently stayed the night at random friends' houses, sleeping on the sofa or on the floor. It was just a common thing to do, regardless of alcohol.

Matthew and I spent over a week catching up with one another. We finally went on our first date! We saw a movie, Saw II, I believe. It was Halloween season. Here was the first guy that I'd fallen for and always wondered, "What if we had actually gone on a date?" Now I had my answer. Completely in love, and feeling absolutely insane over how fast everything was going, we joked about getting married. That joke turned into a reality a month later, much to our parents' surprise. In November, just weeks before he left for training, we married.

Fast-forward 5 years...

Today, we are still married. We have a beautiful daughter, and thankfully, Mr. Clark has survived two deployments and won't be going on any more. We've been through a huge supply of rough patches from our ill-preparedness for marriage (that's what we get for rushing it!) but here we stand, together and working hard on keeping it that way. I'm happy to say he understands me more than most care to try to, and for what he doesn't understand, he deals with anyway.

Our story clearly displays patience and perseverance being requirements for a long-lasting love. We've separated and gotten back together a couple of times, even once spending two years apart, but we never divorced. The challenges he faced in war-time infected our marriage and life at home, and although there are plenty of things we would probably love to change, looking back, it has all led us to where we are today. I have to say I can't complain! Without those hard lessons learned, I'd be more of a child today than an adult.

Hoping to add 55+ years to our "Fast-Forward," here's to all of you...

Happy Valentine's Day!