Lovers of Great Age Differences in Popular Songs

The news today reported that yet another teacher had been accused of having a relationship with a male student. Ten years ago Mary Kay LeTourneau made front page headlines for her affair with her sixth grade male student. The same situation happens so often now that today's story barely even made the paper at all. I found it at the bottom of the fifth page of the national news section.

The story reminded me of course of the popular song by The Police, only with the roles reversed. Then I began to consider other songs in which there was an age difference between the characters. Here is the list I ended up with, including a brief explanation of why each one was selected.

10. "Desiree" by Neil Diamond: The girl in the title was almost twice as old as the singer when they became intimate. She ends up breaking his heart, but that did not stop any parents from naming their newborn daughters after her. If you've ever wondered why there are so many middle aged Desirees, now you know you can blame it on Neil Diamond.

9. "What's Your Name?" by Lynyrd Synyrd: We don't really know how much younger the anonymous girl is compared to the southern rocker who has his way with her. We do know that she was not of age to drink in a bar.

8. "Go Away Little Girl" by Steve Lawrence: The lovely music and pleading vocal make you almost forget that the man is essentially contemplating statutory rape. He begs the little girl to leave him before he surrenders to temptation.

7."Young Girl" by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap: The theme here is similar to that in the aforementioned song. The man is tempted by this likely underage girl, and he wants her to leave him before he commits an illegal act.

6. "Don't Stand So Close to Me" by The Police: The older man from this track on Zenyatta Mondatta is the girl's teacher, placing an even greater obstacle to their intimacy than the age difference. As far as I know, Sting is the only songwriter to work the name Nabokov (author of Lolita) into a top ten hit.

5. "Maggie May" by Rod Stewart: The guy has enjoyed his rendezvous with the older woman, but he's no ready to move on. The opening riff sounds so great on either guitar or mandolin that you almost jump when Stewarts raspy voice bellows the first lyric.

4."Mrs. Robinson" by Simon and Garfunkel: The song isn't really about an older woman, but upon hearing one can't help but think about the seductive character in "The Graduate." As usual, the duo's harmonies soothe even a song about a troubled woman.

3. "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne: The poor guy in this track from the near perfect Welcome Interstate Managers album longs for his girlfriend's mom. It has an excellent beat and vocals that waver appropriately between a teenage yearning and a teenage bravado of confidence.

2. "Clair" by Gilbert O' Sullivan: The guy here is obsessed by a very young girl. You even hear the toddler-like giggle at the end, right after she tells him "I want to marry you, Will you marry me, Uncle Ray?"

1. "Lyin' Eyes" by The Eagles: The girl here is married to "a rich old man," but she is cheating on him with a boy her age. Glenn Frey's soft tenor guides you with much sincerity through the song, so you sympathize with all three characters. This country rock ballad is by far the best song from the last good Eagles album, The Long Run.