Loving and Nurturing Discipline for School-Aged Children

What parent likes discipline? Disciplining our children is one of the least fun, but most important jobs we have. The key to making discipline work for my family is not thinking about it as a punishment. I use discipline to help my son develop into a happy, healthy adult. These are great tips for disciplining school-aged children in a loving and nurturing way.

Don't be afraid to discipline your children in public.

Disciplining children in public is about as much fun as a bikini wax. I used to think I could outsmart my child by avoiding situations where I knew he would misbehave. As my son got older he realized he could get away with more when we were in public. No matter how embarrassing it might be, discipline your child in public when they need it.

Keep your cool.

One of my 'worst mom ever' moments involved angry discipline. I was upset and frustrated as I carried a screaming, crying child through a gauntlet of disapproving faces. Instead of taking time to cool down, I handed out a disproportionate punishment.

If you are feeling angry or upset, take some time to calm down. Discipline should not be something you regret, so make sure your head is in the right place.

Catch your children being good and reward them.

I overheard a kid tell my son to hurry into our house and grab some toys. My son declared that he had to take off his shoes first because that was the rule. Later that night I let my son know he did exactly the right thing and I was proud of him.

Go out of your way to catch your children being good, and reward them for it. Rewards can be as simple as telling your children that they did a good job and giving them a hug.

Teach the ground rules and stick to them.

Rules that are not clear or consistently enforced are confusing to children. It takes effort to teach ground rules, but once they are established they become part of the routine.

Model the behavior you want to see.

It may not be fun to eat your veggies, but we all know that children model what they see their parents doing.

Make your expectations clear.

When you are not clear or consistent with your expectations, it is easy for children to feel frustrated and stop trying. Tell your child what type of behavior you expect from them, and then tell them again.

Be understanding of honest mistakes.

If your child makes a little mistake, have them apologize and then let it go. When you make a huge deal out of small things your child will feel less secure coming to you when they make big mistakes.

When you are wrong, admit it and apologize.

No matter how hard we try to be the perfect parent, we are bound to make mistakes. It takes courage to admit when you are wrong and apologize to your children. Doing this fosters respect and compassion.

Don't give in to peer pressure.

Parents get as much peer pressure as kids. No matter what other parents are doing with their children, stay true to your family's values. Model high self-esteem by not caving to peer pressure.

Love your children and make sure they know it.

Discipline only works when your children know they are loved unconditionally.

Related articles by Loki Morgan:

Virtuous Parenting: Teach and Practice Assertiveness

Foodie Kids: Raising an Adventurous Eater

Parenting Through Embarrassing Moments

Resources:

What is discipline, askdrsears.com