Lying in Children. Is it Normal?

When it comes to lying and your children you may wonder what is normal.

I started heavily thinking about lying and children two months ago. It was the day after Halloween this year my precious six year old daughter Ella did the unthinkable. Sweet Ella got upset with her four year old sister Vanessa for playing with her toys. Ella knows better then to hit since she has gotten in trouble for that in the past. She knows cutting Vanessa's dolls hair is unacceptable so what is a crafty six year old to do? She decided the best course of action is to feed Vanessa chewy Atomic Fireballs and tell her they are skittles. We had the Atomic Fireballs in the house since our nice neighbor gave them out for Halloween.

All of the sudden I hear screaming and come rushing in. Ella what happened I say. Nothing Mommy, Vanessa is just mad. I look at Vanessa who now has tears streaming from her face and red saliva dripping from her mouth. Vanessa couldn't talk so I beg Ella to tell me what happened. My 9 year old son who watched the whole thing happen tells me the story. Ella at first refused to admit the truth. She then hug her head and admitted she wanted revenge.

Intermittent lying at age six is normal. Most six year olds lie for self serving purposes. Lying should never be ignored and accepted. Simply having a quite talk with your child about lying is helpful. Discussing why they lied in the first place and try to understand their reasoning. Explain about how important trust is and you need to believe what they say. After the talk it is wise to give them a consequence.

If your child starts lying on a regular basis this can indicate a real problem. They may be regularly lying to get out of trouble. Perhaps they feel that you are too hard on them if they make a mistake. Try explaining to them why lying is so hurtful. I use the little boy who cried wolf example with my kids. If they keep lying to you it is impossible to believe them anymore. You as a parent need to know when they are telling the truth. If the lying continues it may be time to consult a child developmental psychologist.

Learning the cues your child gives you when they lie is very helpful. Do they twirl their hair, say um a lot, not look at you or smile when they answer you. If we as parents learn to call them on their bluff, lying can be stopped easier. If you know they are lying say so. Letting them get away with lying is doing a disservice to them.

You may begin to wonder if you are raising a pathological liar. Rest assured that chances are you are not. Lying is a normal part of development in childhood. Lying needs to be addressed and never ignored. Talking with your children about lying now will help them for the rest of their lives.