Lynn Patridge, in a Drunken Rant, Calls Lauren Conrad a B--tch and Wants Brandy and Maks to Win DWTS

Lynn Patridge, in a drunken rant, speaks to the cameras, as shown in a Hollywood TV video at Huffington Post. The mother of Audrina Patridge, who was recently voted off Dancing with the Stars, rants about Audrina's fellow The Hills star Lauren Conrad, Dancing with the Stars, and more.

The paparazzi didn't miss a beat with self-proclaimed stage mom Lynn Patridge

As Lynn Patridge sat outside of Hollywood's Beso restaurant, on the curb, with long hair like her daughter's, dressed in an attractive white peasant blouse, black pants and black high-heeled shoes, drunk, holding a cigarette, paparazzi did what they do best and didn't miss a beat. Only, this time they didn't have to chase after the person or ask the person 5 million times to talk to the camera. Lynn Patridge, in her drunken rant, was all too happy to give the paparazzi over five minutes of time as she slurred her obscenity laced words about a variety of topics. As Kelly, a friend, tried to pull her away from the camera, Lynn told her where to go every time and demanded to remain with the paps. "I don't give a sh--t, I ain't scared of paparazzi." It was a paparazzi's dream. All you had to do was stand back and let her rip.

Lynn Patridge's drunken rant about Dancing with the Stars - "When one door closes, another one opens."

"She f--ckin' was a winner last night," said Lynn. "Only the strong survive Hollywood." Then Lynn made sure we all know why she considers Audrina so special, "Audrina is going to f--cking rise and she's got class, and you know why? She's a Polish, Catholic, f--cking full-on Italian. Not only that, she was raised right. And I don't give a sh--t. It's all American."

"If you think Kurt Russell and f--ckin Sarah Palin's daughter did good, right on, I hope they win, but I hope Brandy wins, Brandy and Maks," said Lynn.

We're guessing drunk Lynn meant Kurt Warner and not Kurt Russell. Most would agree that Audrina Patridge is a better dancer than Kurt Warner and Bristol Palin.

Lynn Patridge's drunken rant about Lauren Conrad - Pretty little Lauren Conrad should probably stay away from the mighty Mrs. Patridge

"She's kickin' a-- on a reality show and we're gonna f--ckin' smoke, especially Lauren Conrad's pissy a-- little fashion sh--t. That b--tch wants to bring it on, let's go. F--ckin' let's go," said Lynn.

Lynn Patridge went on to say to the paparazzi, "Anything else you want to ask me? Because I've had it. I've been a celebrity mom eight years through this HIlls bullsh--t, but Audrina is going to the next level, baby."

Also, "F--cking Hills girls - Hills tramps. My baby's a star. She's the only one that has some class and I don't give a f--ck about it."

"We're gonna show you how the real all-American family lives"

Lynn Patridge said, "I'm feisty tonight. I don't drink." We don't know if that's true or not, given what we saw on tape, but a reality show with Audrina will give us more of an insight into that wild ride. Audrina Patridge has also announced to the public that's there a reality show in the works.

A perfect family with their perfect daughter would make for a pretty boring reality show. Audrina Partridge, who is always polite and gracious for the cameras, is probably mortified, right about now, with her mother's behavior. But the fact is, Lynn Patridge's drunken rant is great promotion for their new reality gig.

Sources:

Lynn Patridge, Audrina's Mom, Gives Drunken, Obscene Rant About , Huffington Post

Jolie du Pre, Audrina Patridge Has a Reality Show in the Works -- There's Justice After All, Associated Content