Mahogany in A-Minor

Gus sat looking at the calendar with much trepidation. He knew the date was fast approaching, yet he had no idea what he was going to do. Twenty-five years is a lot of time to spend with one person, and his Elaine was the love of his life - his soul mate, if one believes in that kind of thing. Whatever he did for her this year would have to top the previous twenty-four years. But what to do?

It couldn't be flowers - that would be so unoriginal. The one thought that kept coming to mind was how Elaine had always had her heart set on having their very own piano. Now that Eric had left the nest, his old bedroom could do nicely. Gus could set up a conservatory, a place where Elaine could reconnect with her musical roots.

Elaine had been a pianist when Gus first met her, but arthritis at an early age had hampered her career. Still, music was in her soul. Not only could she play the piano, but her talents extended to the violin and cello as well. But all of these instruments required dexterity that his beloved bride no longer possessed. Oh sure, with a small crowd of guests, Elaine would try her hand at playing, but nothing over long periods of time. Her concert hall days were over, and that was a pity. Elaine could also sing like a nightingale. She had a beautiful voice that would make the strongest man cry with joy. But voice was not her passion - her burning passion had always been to play the piano, and her withered hands were a grim reminder that she would never again be able to bring concert-goers to their feet at the end of a two hour performance.

Piano playing had instead been reserved for the few occasions that Gus and Elaine were at the homes of various friends. Someone would egg her on and Elaine would sit down to the piano and use the little bit of finger coordination she had left to play some short pieces of music. Some of their friends called her "Schroeder," after the "Peanuts" character that could make a toy piano sound like a baby grand. Her love for "Fur Elise" made that nickname even more appropriate!

These thoughts made Gus's mind up for him. Gus got out his phone book and thumbed through the Yellow Pages until he came upon the listings for music shops. There was one that was not too far from Gus's office, so he decided to run by this place on his way home from work. Gus realized that even though there was still a week until their wedding anniversary, he needed to act quickly to pull off this "caper."

Gus didn't know Steinway from a subway, so he knew that wherever he went to buy his lovely Elaine her anniversary gift, he would need someone that knew their stuff. Gus had no musical talent whatsoever - his "singing" was reserved for the commute to work and occasional karaoke if he and his buddies got especially hammered on open mike nights, but that was the extent of what he knew about music. A piano - he was going to buy a piano. He hadn't made a purchase this big with so little to go on since he bought his first Chevy 30 years earlier.

The music shop he has decided up on was less than a five minute drive from Gus's office. But as he drove to the destination he had chosen, he went by another music shop. Gus thought it was strange that he had not come across this shop while going through the phone book, but he decided that maybe getting a few estimates on pianos would be a good idea. He decided to give this first shop a try.

Yancy's Music Parlor was the name of the place where Gus stopped. The place actually looked kind of seedy. Gus was reminded of some of the taverns he and his buddies used to frequent before Gus met Elaine and she made an honest man of him. Gus got out of his car and walked into the dimly lit shop. All around he saw the typical fare of a music store - racks of sheet music, displays of various instruments such as clarinets, trumpets, French horns. In another area there were drum sets, guitars and electric keyboards. Still another display had accessories that musicians die for - guitar picks, clarinet and oboe reeds, mouth pieces for trumpets, even batons for conductor wannabes. Still another area housed music stands.

"Hello there, can I help you?" Gus looked up and got his first look at George Yancy, the proprietor of the shop. He was a slightly built older man, maybe five foot four at best and if he weighed a hundred pounds Gus would have been surprised. Gus guessed Yancy to be at least in his mid-seventies. Yancy had the kind of voice that sounded like he had been smoking unfiltered cigarettes since he was four years old.

Yancy spoke again to Gus. "How can I help you young man?" Young man? Gus was amused - at fifty-one, he sure didn't feel like a young man.

"I'm interested in buying a piano. My wife and I will be celebrating our twenty-fifth anniversary next week and I want to get her something special."

Yancy gave Gus a look of disappointment. "'fraid I can't help you sir. I have no pianos at the time. No uprights, no nothing."

"Any chance you will be getting anything in stock within the next few days?" Even though he knew there were other music shops to visit, Gus was feeling nervous about his plan going up in smoke before it even had a chance to get fleshed out.

Yancy shook his head. "'fraid not young man. As you can probably tell, I'm no spring chicken. What you see in my inventory is what I am trying to sell off."

Gus shrugged. Oh well, he thought, regaining a calmer demeanor - he reminded himself there were other music stores listed. He'd have to try another. And he wasn't exactly committed to buying a piano - he could try to come up with another idea. Time was of the essence, but he did have some days to play with. Still, the piano idea kept playing in his mind.

Then Yancy, with a twinkle in his eye, told Gus "I do have something that may interest you though."

"Well, thank you sir, but I really was hoping for a piano."

"What about a pump organ?"

Gus ran this through his mind. He had never heard Elaine play the organ, but he imagined that if one could play a piano like she could, surely learning the organ was not outside the realm of possibilities. Gus agreed to look at what the old man had to offer, if only to be polite. "OK, I'll take a look," Gus said.

Yancy took Gus back into another section of the parlor. There he saw it. It was a pump organ alright - and it was by no means new. And it was in immaculate condition. It was mahogany - it had a finish that was so shiny the light in the room glared off of it. It was like an angel's halo had lit everything like Gus had stepped into heaven. Gus feared what it would cost him to even look at it, let alone buy it.

"Wanna give it a try?" Yancy said this with an air of confidence, like a teenage boy on a hot date with the most popular trollop in school.

Gus confessed to his musical ineptitude, but the old man persisted. Yancy said " this beauty would have made even bigger superstars outta them Beatle fellers. They shoulda come to see me and I would have been more than happy to help them along with their music!"

Gus thought the old man had snapped his cap. A pump organ playing "Get Back" or "Penny Lane"? The thought was preposterous, but, with a chuckle under his breath, Gus let the old man have his rant. "OK, I'll give it a try," Gus said.

So with his limited musical experience, Gus nevertheless sat down at the pump organ and started messing with the keys. It was the most amazing thing - he started to play a melody - one he had heard before, but only barely knew the chords. He started to play "On Broadway." It sounded beautiful. The tone was rich and deep and Gus played the instrument with such ease.

Gus asked the old man how much he wanted for the old relic. Yancy said it would only cost the man $500 as he was liquidating his stock so he could retire. Gus thought this seemed reasonable for an instrument this size and quality. In reality, Gus knew squat about pump organs, let alone antiques. Gus made arrangements to have the organ delivered - for a slight increase in cost of $50 - and Gus went on his way.

Gus was as antsy as a boy scout in a brothel for the next week. He could not wait for Elaine to see the beautiful organ he had bought for their special day. When the day arrived, Gus directed the delivery men to take the organ into Eric's old bedroom. Elaine was out with a girlfriend and would not be back for at least an hour. The organ was wrapped in cloth to protect it.

Gus felt a sense of unease while the delivery men were in his house. Neither man looked very healthy and Gus was thinking he should be of more help. Their cargo must have weighed a ton, Gus thought, and these two guys were about the same size and age as Yancy. Still, the two men got the precious cargo to the place Gus directed them to. One of the men had Gus sign a receipt, gave Gus his copy and the two men went on their way. The man without the receipt book turned to Gus, gave a wink and said "enjoy your purchase, sir." Gus thanked the men, they went back to their truck and they drove off.

Elaine arrived an hour later. Gus greeted her at the door. "Happy Anniversary darling." I have something to show you that I think you're gonna love!"

Intrigued, Elaine said "OK - lay it on me my love." Gus took out a blue bandanna and used it to blindfold Elaine. Gus then led her by the hand to Eric's bedroom. Gus sat Elaine down in the chair he had set directly in front of the behemoth of furniture the delivery men had just brought to their home. For a brief moment, Gus looked at the furniture standing in Eric's bedroom and thought to himself how the shape didn't seem right. He shook the idea from his head and went over to where the men had set the anniversary gift.

Gus started to lift the sheet and as he did he said, "my love, I thought of you and all of your wonderful qualities when I bought this. I've bought you some stinkers for gifts in the past, but this year, I think I have made up for all of that. I think this is a gift you will remember for the rest of your life and one that reflects just exactly how I feel about you. So go ahead and take off your blindfold and I will unveil this beautiful thing at the same time."

Ever more intrigued, Elaine did as she was instructed and Gus did as he promised. And there it was. The gift to outdo all previous duds he had bought for her. She screamed, but not in enthusiasm, but with horror. Gus was simply dumbfounded.

"You bought me a CASKET!! What kind of cruel joke is this? And on our special day too! Get out of my sight you ingrate!"

"But my love - this is not what I bought for you! There has been a mistake!"

"Sure there's been a mistake - I made it 25 years ago! If you ever hope to have me speak to you again, you better be telling the truth!"

"Of course I'm telling you the truth. I'll go to the place where I bought your real present and demand that this thing be removed and your rightful gift be delivered. I am so sorry my darling - really, this is a mistake!"

Gus was shocked and angry. He ran out of the house, got in his car and drove to the store. All the while he thought of what he would say to Old Man Yancy - what exactly do you say to a music shop owner who sells caskets on the side? And how do you handle a guy that looks as feeble as Yancy did when you feel like you could break every bone in the body of a sumo wrestler?

Gus got to the site of Yancy's store. But instead of finding Yancy's Music Parlor, he found what looked like a shell of the old shop. A man walked along the street and was staring as Gus was scratching his head trying to figure things out.

"Can I help you sir?" the stranger asked?

"Yeah! What happened to Yancy's shop?"

"YANCY'S? Why that place burned down five years ago. It was a total loss. Yancy tried to save what he could of his merchandise, but while doing so, he was overcome by smoke and died."

"Died?" Gus had the stupidest of expressions on his face.

"Yep. Smoke inhalation did him in. Did you know George, mister?"

Gus wasn't sure how to answer the question. Did he know the old man? Who was it that sold him the organ? And what was the reason for the casket to be delivered?

While Gus was out, Elaine stood and looked at the casket. She was still uncertain if she believed Gus's story. Gus was a good man, but not always the quickest wit. Still, she had trouble believing that Gus was so much of a fool that he had actually bought a casket for her. Elaine started to feel horrible for how she had treated Gus and swore to herself that she would make it up to him when he returned. After all, this was their wedding anniversary - twenty-five years together. That happens only once in a lifetime.

Elaine chuckled to herself as she looked at the casket. At least it was good quality, she thought to herself. It was obviously made of mahogany and the handles were real brass. Curious about the inside of the casket, Elaine lifted the lid. Elaine shrieked as she saw that inside the casket was a dead old man!
He looked as though he was completely burned. Suddenly his eyes opened and his charred lips parted, showing rotted teeth. She felt a horrible pain in her chest when the old man sat up in the casket.

"Oh it feels good to be out and about," Yancy said. I've been cramped up in the purgatory of that shop for five years. Torched it myself to get the insurance money. Got trapped inside. I heard the news folk say I was trying to save the place. So noble of me, don't ya think dear lady? Hmmm? Did you hear me ma'am" Oh my, you look poorly!"

Elaine clutched her chest and fell to the floor. The infarction killed her instantly. Just as she died, Gus ran into the house. He looked at the floor and saw his dead wife. He knelt next to her and started to sob. After a few minutes, he looked up and saw the slight old man that now smelled like charred flesh. George Yancy looked down at Gus. Gus grimaced as he looked at the old man's charred black skin and bared rotting teeth from where his lips had disappeared. Yancy touched Gus on the shoulder.

"My dear lad, I have tried to escape the hell of that shop for five years. You were a godsend. If you had not bought this wonderful mahogany casket, I'd still be cooped up there in that horrible place, smelling the stench of water-logged burned wood for all of eternity."

"But, but, it was an organ, not a casket!" Gus sobbed.

"There, there, dear man. There hasn't been a pump organ in that shop for twenty years. And there's been nothing there worth buying for five years!" Yancy was now laughing hysterically. "But I must say, dear man, it was good to find out that I can still sell my stock as well as some of those punks at the fancy music shop at the mall. It was that place that sank my business and made me go broke back then. But I sure got you hooked. Set the hook really well and landed me a whopper! Now if you don't mind, I'm heading out of here so I can enjoy the freedom that has escaped me for five years. And remember, you bought that lovely piece of furniture for your dear bride - better be quick and get her in it so you can put it to good use - hear me?" And with that statement, Yancy vanished from view. In an ironic puff of smoke, he was gone.

Gus sat next to his dead wife for about an hour. His sobs were heavy and deep. Twenty-five years ruined by a gift he had meant to bring joy to his beloved Elaine. Gus wondered what bad things he had done to deserve a fate like this. The woman he had spent twenty-five years with was now gone. He would never again hear the sweet music that she could create with her poorly shaped fingers.

Through the thickness of his sobbing, Gus heard a noise in the background. Apparently Yancy actually had been trying to tell Gus something about the casket after all, because as Gus glanced at the casket, it started to rot in front of his eyes until it was nothing but sawdust on the floor. Just a big hill of sawdust. But as the final grains of dust settled into the pile, Gus could swear he heard the ending chords of "On Broadway" playing ever so softly, followed shortly thereafter by the sounds of Elaine beginning to play "Fur Elise." Gus again started to sob and threw the weight of his body on top of that of his dead wife.