Maid of Honor Responsibilities - From Bachelorette Party to Wedding Day

Amanda Baker

When a bride is choosing the person that is going to be her maid of honor, she typically chooses a woman who is close to her - a sister or close girlfriend. This person will offer her the support and positive attitude she will need in the months leading up to the big event, and the helping hand she'll desperately need on the wedding day.

So, what exactly does a maid of honor have to do? Well, if you've been chosen as your friend's maid of honor, congratulations! Your friend obviously believes that you're capable of taking on the responsibilities that come with such a big job.

Traditionally, as Maid of Honor, your roles are:

  • To host the bridal shower. This will involve planning a theme, finding a location, getting a cake, inviting the friends of the bride, and more or less throwing the kind of party that screams "Yay! You're getting married!" You may want to communicate with the bride's mother when planning the shower, as she will no doubt have some plans of her own. Though the maid of honor is in charge of the shower, other attendants should definitely offer their assistance. Get together and throw an incredible event!

  • To plan and host the bachelorette party! Talk to the bride about what she would like to do. Yes, you're supposed to surprise her, but you have to remember that, above all, this is her night. If you and the other party attendees want male entertainment, but the bride does not, don't force her to do it anyway. The bachelorette party is supposed to be fun for everyone, especially the bride, as it is her last night out as a single woman!

  • To be the bride's right hand on her wedding day. Is she nervous? Talk to her and try to keep her calm. Help her to be stress free, but don't strong-arm other people who may want to offer her their help as well. You're there to help her with whatever she needs.

  • If there isn't a wedding coordinator on the big day, your role has doubled! You may need to run messages back and forth between the bride and other family members, as well as keep the bride on schedule. Adjust her veil and dress for her just before she's ready to go down the aisle. Most importantly, smile! Your smile will help put the bride at ease.

  • During the ceremony, you're responsible for holding the bride's bouquet and helping bustle the bride's gown after the ceremony. Be sure to ask before the ceremony about instructions on the bustle, as some of the more elaborate bustles can have more than twenty hooks!

  • During the reception, you're expected to make a speech. Say something witty, but sentimental. Keep it upbeat, and look at the bride and groom as you speak. You are toasting to them! Remember not to say things that are too personal or embarrassing. If you're not ready for public speaking, practicing your speech over and over again will help. Also, be sure to write down your speech on note cards, for use at the reception. Just don't forget to bring the note cards!

If you're asked to be a maid of honor, the best things you can offer to the bride are your support, time, and your money. If you're a bride getting ready to choose your maid of honor, don't feel like you have to ask a specific person. It's all about communication. You should ask someone you feel will be supportive and enthusiastic about your wedding and marriage. Make sure your maid of honor is someone you can talk to at any given time and be sure to discuss with that person all of the things that will be expected of them. Never assume that they already know.

Published by Amanda Baker

An upcoming novelist, Amanda writes a wide variety of tales to both excite and frighten when she's not hard at work as a data entry and billing manager for a local home health company.  View profile

  • It's a lot of responsibility.
  • A maid of honor must host the bridal shower.
  • The maid of honor fills in for a wedding coordinator.
A "Maid Of Honor" who is already married is referred to as a "Matron of Honor."

6 Comments

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  • Steven4/10/2012

    yes, you STILL need to get a wedding gift. it is an HONOR to be apart of the wedding. Not an obligation as you do not need to accept. The bride gives you a gift as well as a thank-you as well as the other brides maids and the groom also traditionally give as gift to his groomsmen

  • motherofthebride3/31/2010

    the maid of honor lives out of state sister of the bride she ran the shower but will not be able to attend the bachelorette party her friends are making all the plans as the mother of the bride what are my responsibilities

  • curious11/5/2009

    given the expenses associated with being part of the wedding party - dress, shoes, travel, hotel and throwing the bachelorette party, what is considered proper etiquette for a wedding gift?

  • kLUV10/28/2009

    I have been asked for the 1st time..never done it? can it get expensive?

  • n_c5/6/2009

    This is my first time being a maid of honor. Im so excited. just looking for some advise on what to do and how to go about doing it. I know i have to be the bride's right hand.

  • Your name trish Gutierrez4/1/2009

    This is so new to me i am so happy and nervouse at the same time i want ti do everything with in a budget

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