Maintaining a Friendship with a Depressed Friend

The trends in clinical depression statistics are frightening. The Australian Government is now suggesting that in today's world, everyone at some point will be affected by depression, whether the suffering is their own or someone else's. And research appears to back this claim up. Surprisingly, a study published in Psychiatric Services in 2004 lists pre-schoolers as the fastest-growing market for antidepressants. Assuming this trend is continues, it will soon be imperative for us as a society to develop the social skills necessary to befriend those who are suffering.

So, how can you do something to maintain your friendship with a depressed friend? How can you befriend a depressed person without allowing their depression to affect your own mental health? What are some mental attitudes and societal pressures which could increase the suffering of a depressed person? All of these are very important questions that we may soon need to know.

Encourage Your Friend to Seek Professional Help

Although the statistics of depression are increasing to alarming rates, the National Mental Health Association reported that in 2004, over 50% of the population believes that depression is a personal weakness. This social stigma is a contributing factor to why an overwhelming majority of people suffering from clinical depression do not seek help. Unfortunately, this lack of support during a difficult season may prove deadly to some. Therefore, the first step to being a supportive friend to someone suffering from depression is to help them recognize it and motivate them to seek help. Talk to them and show them how much you enjoy their friendship and explain that you only want them to be able to experience happiness again. If they offer excuses, do whatever you can to dispel the stigma they are afraid of and help them reach out to get professional help.

Provide Support During Treatment

Once your friend begins treatment, support them by remembering them. Visit, send messages, and generally stay in touch as normal. Avoid being over-protective with him/her and try to act as normal as possible. Remember jokes you hear during the day to share with them. Include them in social and physical activities, but try not to push too hard for social engagement too soon. If the answer is no, leave it alone and wait to ask again until next time. Be positive and encouraging regarding their progress, but not annoying. Avoid asking too many questions about how they feel. Instead, listen as often as they seem willing to talk. The more you treat your friend like a complete person, the more beneficial your friendship may become to his or her full recovery.

Continue to Be Alert

Although most people who experience clinical depression recover from it within 6-12 months, a number of sufferers will experience subsequent depressive episodes. So, even though a depressed friend appears to be doing well for a period of time, perhaps even months or years, they may still be at risk. So, be alert. If a friend has suffered from clinically depressive episodes in the past, he or she may experience a relapse. To assist in warding off this undesirable condition, express your positive beliefs in their abilities to handle all that life is throwing at them when they are stressed out. Help to keep them physically active and include them in relaxing, social activities. This may help to offset some of the risks of relapse. However, no matter how hard some people may try, avoiding relapse might not always be possible for all people. But a social support during whatever may come tends to make a significant difference in the amount of recovery time.

Maintain an Alternative Outlet

It is never easy to be friends with someone who has such a negative view on life. It can be draining to be positive and encouraging of someone who resembles a black hole, sucking up all of the energy in the room. So, how can you maintain your own mental health when encouraging and maintaining your friendships? Make sure that you have an outlet other than your depressed friend. It can be another friend, a spouse, a counselor, a sibling, or whoever you feel comfortable enough to talk to. Keep the rumor mills at bay by making this person the only person you talk to about your friend. Explain the situation to them and ask if they would confront you if they notice any changes in your own behavior towards depression. If you or your confidant notice any changes, take a small step back from the friendship. Skip a day of calling them or stopping by their house. Use this time to boost your own mental health by having some fun, exerting some physical energy, or just relaxing. When you have had sufficient time, resume your regular interaction. No friendship is worth the risk of your own mental health. Your job is to be a friend, not a healer, and friends sometimes need breaks from each other to refocus and learn to enjoy each other again.

Spread the Word, Shape the World

Depression is a sickness that takes the life from the living without killing them. It is a torturous life to lead and a friend who is suffering from it needs your support. I hope that this information has given you the tools you need to be a part of a healthy social support system for your friends and family. I also hope you will share this knowledge with others you know so that our society will replace the negative stigma of depression with a healthy dose of understanding, empathy and encouragement.