Maintaining Long Distance Friendships

I have had and still have long distance friendships. I have friends spread out across the length and breadth of America. The majority of my friends are back home in the UK though. Each time I got ready to move, I knew that I would be leaving a new set of friends behind and this was not easy at first. It used to be quite hard to do and it still is to a certain degree, but I have learned to adjust and make each move from my new set of friends easier.

Moving need not be the end

Some people are under the impression that once you move away from the town, state or country, that you will automatically lose touch and that it would not be worthwhile to stay in touch anyway because you will be so far away. Many friendships therefore fizzle out at this time or soon after the move. The best way to test a friendship and see if it is genuine is to write to all the people you considered friends after you move away and see how many write back. It is surprising how many people will ignore your letters or e-mails. When I moved a few years ago, I was determined to stay in touch with as many people as I could, so I collected addresses and e-mails from people. I wrote to everyone I could and some wrote back. But some chose not to. Then when I went back there two years later for a visit, I tried to re-acquaint myself with my friends as well as some who had not written back to me and they point blank told me it was a waste of time writing to them, as they would not be writing back! So I knew from that time on who I would and would not be able to keep in touch with.

Carry on a friendship routine

What do I mean by a "friendship routine?" I am referring to some of the things you used to do with your friends, except for the obvious such as shopping, going out together and so on. It is possible to still carry on a friendship with someone even if you live in different countries. While I was in the UK, I kept in touch with my friends in America on quite a regular basis. You can do this by sending photos and other items you know your friend will appreciate. Phone calls, letters and e-mails can also help to bridge the distance. We keep each other informed of mutual friends, the weather, your problems and any other issues that come up. These issues can still be discussed and resolved between friends, even if there is a great distance separating you. It will help you feel closer. You are also less likely to drift apart, as can often happen with long distance friendships. The nice thing about letters is that you can refer back to them if you need to and recall news that your friend gave you.

Visit, if you can

If you are in a position to do so, make an effort to visit your friend from time to time and encourage them to do the same thing. You may get to visit a new part of the country or world that you have never visited before. You may be able to stay with your friend. If so, you can spend time chatting and catching up face to face. It can be a really good experience. These visits can help to keep a friendship alive.

Remember special occasions

When you lived close to your friend you probably remembered special occasions and observed them together. So do not stop doing this now just because you live far apart. If your friend gets married, has a baby or has just celebrated their wedding anniversary, be sure to get involved and share in their happiness. You may be invited to play a role in their wedding day or you could try and host a baby shower if you take the time to prepare for it and visit. There are lots of ways you can show you care and that is by remembering special occasions.

True friends are always together

Remember that true friends are always together in one way or another. They do not need to live next door to you for you to maintain a friendship with them. It takes as much effort, if not more, to maintain a friendship with a person who lives far away from you. But if you are committed to your friendship then it can work for you. Do not become too downhearted if friendships do not last after either of you move away. It just shows that it was not meant to be. Some people just do not have the capacity to maintain a friendship with someone they cannot see on a regular basis. Learn to accept this and move on.

Do not forget friends who live nearby

This article has concentrated mainly on long distance friendships. But do not forget your friends who live nearby. If you are new to the area, get to know people, volunteer or take part in some activity where you can meet new people and you will hopefully soon make new friends. Friends who live nearby can offer extra support and the socializing that cannot be achieved with friends who live far away. Learn to appreciate the benefits of having long distance friendships as well as friends who are closer. You may well have formed friendships that will last a lifetime.