Maintaining Your Sanity During Family Gatherings

The holiday season is quickly approaching and that means plenty of togetherness time with family. While most families make it through the holidays emotionally and psychologically unscathed, there are some families who just can not seem to get through a gathering without a blow up.

So, if you are a member of one of those families who seem to jump up and down on each other's last nerve, how can you stay sane this holiday season? Below are some tips that just might get you through without costing a fortune in therapy bills.

The most important thing you can do is leave for your destination with a smile on your face and a good attitude. If you head out for a family gathering with a sense of dread and the attitude that the event is going to be a nightmare, it more than likely will be. However, if you walk into mom's house with a good attitude you are faced with a better chance of getting through without a debacle.

The second tip to be offered is "ignore, ignore, ignore." Everyone knows that grandma has never liked "Aunt Mary" and she never will. They also know that no family get together would be complete without her mentioning that fact at least ten times and making snide remarks to the person in question. Visit with everyone ahead of time and agree that no one is going to take the bait. Let her talk and complain all she wants while nodding and smiling. Eventually she will give it up when she realizes that she is not getting the response she hoped for. Coming to "Aunt Mary's" defense is only going to precipitate an argument that no one wants to have over the dinner table.

Most every family has at least one member who qualifies as the World's Worst Gift Giver. This person comes in two varieties; the gift giver who talks endlessly about how great their gift to you is and how much it cost, and the gift giver who literally gives the most awful gifts, whether it be something truly hideous or just something that is totally not suited to you.

You have probably told "Uncle Earl" for the last fifteen years that you thought the gifts of whoopee cushions and plastic dog doo were hysterical while secretly cringing inside. Keep it up! The holidays are not a good time to tell the truth, even if "Cousin Doris" persists in giving you a box of chocolate covered cherries knowing full well you have a violent allergic reaction to chocolate.

Sitting down at the dinner table with these folks can be a daunting prospect as well. Conversations can turn ugly with only a few words. Whether or not you are the host it is wise to ensure that people who are known to disagree with each other regularly not be seated close together. You will also want to make the effort to steer the conversation towards neutral topics. Politics and religion should never be discussed at a table where sharp utensils are being used lest there be bloodshed over the green bean casserole.

Taking some time for deep breathing, relaxation and careful planning can turn what could be an unhappy family occasion into a pleasant event that will ensure that everyone is present at that big family dinner you have planned for Easter.