Make a Baby, Father the Child
Hopefully if you father a child, you have intentions of marriage and keeping the family together. If not, take care of the child's needs - ALWAYS. If the mother gives you trouble about seeing the child, know that you have legal rights, and can take the matter before the courts. If your current partner tries to block you from supporting the child that you had in a previous relationship, then stand up and demand her respect for your moral obligation. Stop letting these women punk you into not taking care of your responsibility. If you owe back child support, bite the bullet, and make payment arrangements through the governing child support office. Keep in mind that your obligation to your child is not a sacrifice.
Your child cannot father himself/herself. A woman is not a man. She cannot take the place of a man. Be a good example. Your friends, your uncle, even your father should not deter you from taking care of your seed. Your participation in the nurturing of a child plays a critical role in how he/she functions in school, with peers, and in society at large. If you're a father in the home, when you get home from work, spend time with that child. They can't wait to see daddy. On the weekends, forget the game sometimes - take your kid to the park to fly a kite, to a movie, to a science museum. Give your child your undivided attention often. Black men, our people need you. Our survival depends on you. Our children are yours. Your wholeness as a man, in part, is granted when you can say that you were there for your child. If you make a baby, father the child.
Published by S. E. Masters
Welcome! I hope that my writings incite, ignite, and expand your thoughts. Thanks for stopping by, and come back again often. View profile
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6 Comments
Post a CommentMRDM, there is nothing like going to those pre-natal doctor visits, seeing the ultra-sounds, and hearing the heart beat, watching that child grow before your eyes. I'm glad I was there for all of mine. It's a shame that the men who put up the biggest fight in divorce court are the least active in their child's life. Sounds like you now have a man that loves you above any human, so loving that new child is....
Enough said.
MJ, there is such peace in your comments. With your father "there", I am sure made the difference in your life. My mother and father were married longer than I am old, so I'll never know what its like to be without a father in the home. Unfortunately, there are too many kids without a father (and growing number of mother's) present. Hopefully when those children are adults they've already been taught to seek to be whole, and not repeat the cycle.
A child needs both parents whether together or separate. It was never designed to be a 1 parent show. It took 2 people to make the child and it will take 2 people to raise the child. A mother can never make up for the lost father nor can a father make up for a lost mother. All I know is, I would never want to be a single parent again!!!!
I love your article!!! I'm a woman who have experienced having 2 children with one man. He was absent for their births and was really a token father who would come around to give gifts and then would take off again. Mind you I was married to him and believed his rhetoric about (quality time over quantity with our children)because business come first. Let me tell you it became quantity with the children once he got hit with divorce papers and child support. It came down to him not wanting to give me child support, so he was then supposedly convinced of the need to spend more time with the children. How draft!!! Then later, a wonderful new man comes into my life. We have a child together and instantly, I see the difference. I mean, he went to all my prenatal visits. He wanted to ensure my happiness during the pregnancy. After having the baby, he made sure he too was waking up in the middle of the night for our child. I had truly never experienced such an active male/father in my life. A
It's great to hear Black men speak of the integrity you have for your children. Raising a child is not an easy task for men or women. It's a woman's nature to nourish. She can't help it. Still it's not easy. To have the father of a child "be there" takes a load off. Like the commentator said, so what if the mother of your child is giving you a hard time. It is your responsibility to see that child grow up to be an asset to society! The world will be made up of your children and my children. What have we or what will we instill in them? All men should take a stand and Father their children. I was fortunate to have my father in my life until adulthood. I always wonder if there is an emptiness in the life of a fatherless child! If there is, fill the void in your childs life... while you are able!
God Bless!
It's hard being both a father and step-father but in this life all we have is ourselves to both nutrture and build from. The kids are the ones that suffer the most when we decide to sherk our responsibilities as men. Maybe it's our destiny to be failures, conversely so maybe it's our destiny to be kings and princes. Eitter way, we are all held accountable for who and what we are. The smarter (wiser) thing to do is to seize the opportunity in front of us and just plain old do the best we can.. We have so many things working against us both on the inner and outer level that we have no room for faliure.. What I am saying in essence is to first love yourself and then love your child. Be strong..
Peace and Blessings...